Fatal
by Articulated
Summary: Hayate and Kakashi seem to be blind to everything Genma feels. Will Hayate's sickness finally make them all realize just how foolish they've been. YateGenKashi
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Fatal **

**Rating: M**

**Warning: Yaoi/Slash, BoyLove, Language**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. It's sort of obvious, don't you think?**

**Pairing: HayateGenmaKakashi with a side of implied AobaRaidou, KotetsuIzumo**

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**Chapter One: Feverish Fright **

Hayate stood on the roof of his apartment building watching as the sun just started to peak over the horizon line, his chest tight as his lungs couldn't quite manage to take in enough oxygen. Something he'd managed to grow used to, to a certain extent. He fisted a hand against his chest, rubbing slightly, before moving said hand to cover his mouth as he coughed deeply a few times, awareness never wavering from the brightening sky in front of him as his body started to shake. He felt a slightly dizziness overcome him, but shook if off with mere pride and willpower. He'd lived with this sickness too long to allow it any type of control over him, no matter the situation or conditions.

He felt the pulse of chakra a few moments before he heard the soft sigh over his shoulder. He felt his entire body tense for a moment before placing the chakra as familiar and unthreatening. With a soft sigh he realized who it was seconds later, forcing his muscles to relax once again, keen eyes glued once again to the highlighted horizon. Moments like this were precious, the slowly rising sun and the calming fresh air, you learned as a shinobi early on that life often times was taken abruptly. Being a shinobi meant the possibility of losing your life at any moment, and the small things really did matter in the chaotic world of blood, pain, and loss that surrounded them all. He stood almost too still, forcing himself not to turn around, and waited for the man behind him to speak, as Hayate knew he would eventually.

"Awake quite early again, aren't you?" Genma asked softly from behind him, his voice slightly gruff still laced with slight sleepiness and something that was uniquely Genma's voice, husky and penetrating. Genma had an exotic voice that made people want to listen to him, wanting to hear more of the sound as it rumbled pleasantly through their ears, whether in pleasure, anger or indifference it always held the same tone. And the fact that Genma wasn't the type to talk just to talk made hearing his voice that much more pleasurable, almost like a gift. He tended to only speak to those he deemed worthy of his thoughts, outside of his close friends not many people had even heard him say more than a few words since his days as a genin.

"Mmm," Hayate said, not committing to an actual answer, because the truth was he hadn't actually slept at all yet. He was simply still awake. He could almost taste Genma's sudden tension in the air around them; felt the flare spike of chakra as it rolled over his body like a fire attempting to consume him. Drawn to the man behind him Hayate had to force himself not to turn around for the second time. Looking into Genma's eyes had always felt like both a gift and a curse – he had beautifully yet oddly expressive eyes. Eyes that didn't belong on an elite shinobi's face, it was one of the things that drew people to Genma, aside from his voice. His eyes were like open doors, drawing people in, pulling them closer and threatening to devour them. But those same expressive eyes could also become so cold and devoid, latching on and then sucking emotions from someone else's eyes as well. Hayate had never been very good at lying to begin with, which was why he often times just buried himself into the simple silence of non-commitment instead of trying to outsmart the human lie detector that Genma had become over the years. One of his specialties as a shinobi was learning about and knowing the people around him, enemy and comrades alike, and as the years continued forward his abilities only seemed to progress further and further.

Genma sighed deeply, running a hand slowly over his face. His entire body was tense; it usually was when he was within any vicinity to the younger boy standing mere inches in front of him, though the reason behind the tenseness varied often. They'd been incredibly close for a few short years now, and only seemed to be growing steadily closer. Yet Genma still couldn't quite figure the kid out, and not being able to figure someone out left Genma feeling vulnerable and exposed. It was his specialty to be able to read the people around him, but it seemed the more his emotions got muddled up into it the less he could truly figure out. He remembered vaguely being 18 years old, having barely been made jonin by then, unlike Hayate who had already been a jonin for nearly 4 years now. Genma bit down on the senbon in his mouth tightly the metal clashing against his teeth clicking loudly as Hayate's lithe body was wracked with a sudden fit of heavy coughs. Hayate lurched forward slightly, one hand pressing against his thigh to hold him up and the other fisted over his mouth tightly, trying to calm himself down enough to breathe properly, as his chest tightened considerably.

Hayate closed his eyes against the sudden onslaught of pain, as Genma stepped forward in a flash placing a strong, warm hand onto the back of Hayate's neck he rubbed softly with his fingers, hoping to ease the pain he knew the younger boy was in. Hayate continued to cough and wheeze pitifully, dragging in ragged breathes every few moments. Genma cursed under his breath softly, before wrapping his free arm around the younger man's middle and dragging him back tightly against himself. Hayate sucked in a deep breath, his head knocking harshly against Genma's shoulder at the sudden unexpected movement and he closed his eyes against the sudden flush of nausea that raced through him. He could feel his heart beat stuttering at a slightly alarming rate, and he couldn't quite get his eyes to focus.

"Steady," Genma said softly, when Hayate's entire body trembled. "I've got you, just calm down." Hayate allowed his head to lull pathetically into the curve of Genma's neck, his breath hot against the taller man's smooth neck. Genma forced back a shudder at the feeling, and held onto Hayate tighter. Hayate moaned hoarsely, as his coughing fit seemed to slowly die out, his small body still shaking in Genma's arms.

"That was unexpected," Hayate said roughly, his voice scratchy and strained. He sighed into Genma's neck, and allowed his body to go lax in the strong arms that had latched onto him tightly, basking in the familiar warmth. Genma looked down at the boy in his arms his chest tightening in concern; he seemed to be worse than usual. He nearly looked like walking death today, which was bad even for Hayate.

"I don't think you should do much of anything today, 'Yate." Genma said softly, frowning as Hayate just sank further into his arms as if he was melting. Hayate simply nodded his head, and buried his face further into Genma's neck. Hayate's body was gravitating towards the warmth of the older man holding him so securely within his arms; he could feel his entire body slowly shutting down and didn't even try to fight against it. He really didn't feel so good at all, his head was spinning and there was a pounding pressure at the base of his skull. He whimpered softly, pressing back even further into the warmth as if he was trying to embed himself into Genma. Hayate shuddered, suddenly feeling so cold. A frown creased across Genma's face as he hauled the shivering boy against him tighter.

"Okay. Bed?" Hayate said tightly, his voice soft and weary, "So tired." He felt like he'd just been tortured for days endlessly. His entire body ached inside and out, a slow burning sensation had covered his entire body as he became to heat up at a steadily increasing rate, a film of sweat breaking out across his face instantly. Every inch of his skin ached against anything that even brushed against it.

Genma hefted Hayate up into his arms easily, before disappearing down the roof and into his own apartment bedroom with ease. Living in the same apartment building as all of his closest friends, was a convenience Genma had always taken for granted until this exact moment. Now he was nothing short of grateful for the small luxury. He quickly pulled back the covers, before softly laying Hayate onto his bed. Placing a cold hand against the boy's forehead; Hayate instantly sighed at the coldness and then whimpered miserably when it disappeared just as quickly. Genma bit down forcefully on the senbon in his mouth again, the clicking sound echoing in the room. Turning quickly on a growl, he spit the laced senbon at the wall behind him sharply, watching it stick before turning his attention back to the boy sprawled across his bed.

"Burning," Hayate whispered so lowly that it was inaudible to Genma's ears, as he lifted his hands weakly to his own vest, tugging at it as forcefully as his aching limbs would allow.

"What's wrong? Do you want your vest off, Hayate?" Genma said softly, kneeling next to his bed and placing his face close to Hayate's as he continued to whimper and whispered, while pulling weakly at his own vest still.

"Yes, yes, hot." Genma instantly moved Hayate's hands softly to his sides again, before starting to carefully undress the helpless young boy. He noticed that Hayate's shirt under his vest was stuck to his sweating body, clinging like a second skin and worrying Genma instantly. He continued along with his pursuit of undressing the shaking boy as quickly as he dared, careful not to jostle him too much. He heard Hayate's quiet sobbed sigh when Genma's cold hand came into contact with his burning and bared chest. Genma carefully ran his cold hands over the boy's heated flesh, hoping to offer some form of comfort.

Genma suddenly wished much more forcefully than usual that Kakashi wasn't off on some mission, but that the lazy-nin was here to ground Genma's erratic thoughts and settle the heart that was quite literally attempting to beat right out of his chest. Kakashi had the odd yet comforting ability to keep himself at least partially detached and unemotional in situations; it would really come in handy right now. Genma was laid-back himself, but when it came to certain situations, and more importantly certain people that were important to him he often times found himself losing his ability to think clearly and logically. A frantically emotional Genma, was not a side of himself he was overly proud of. But it was something he'd learned to deal with, because it was inevitable that at times he was overwhelmed.

Genma shook his head sighing, Kakashi was just so much better at these situations than he could ever hope to be, and he ached for the men's soothing presence and guiding hands now. His hands shook, as he stared at the younger shinobi feeling a sense of helplessness wash over him in waves. He knew he should be getting a medic-nin or someone but he couldn't even remember how to move, he was too tied up in knots and far too concerned. He was worried and very much out of his element. He put his head into his head, shaking it slightly as Hayate continued to writhe and moan on the bed eyes clenched closed in pain.

With a sudden burst of logical thought, Genma quickly went to the window hanging out partly and yelling up towards the window above his, "**Raidou! Aoba!**" He sighed when two heads quickly popped out of the window side by side.

"Genma, be civi - What's wrong?" Raidou asked tightly, instantly noticing the tension on his face and the missing senbon. Two things that were always instant clues that something was off, Genma was almost never seen with a senbon and his face was set in a perpetually lethargic mask of indifference and defiance.

"It's Hayate," Genma said tightly. Aoba and Raidou looked at each other in alarm before, looking back at Genma. Genma turned his head back into his room when Hayate coughed weakly a few times. "Come down here," Genma said quickly, his voice urgent as he pulled at his hair slightly before looking back towards the two for a moment, and then disappearing out of sight. Seconds later Raidou and Aoba flanked Genma, and the three looked at the small, pale boy moaning pitifully and twisting on the bed before them. "Something is really wrong," Genma said softly, his throat tight with unexplainable emotions. Raidou placed a hand on Genma's shoulder and squeeze tightly, offering what comfort he could.

"What happened," Aoba said tightly, his voice quiet. Genma shrugged once, and then his body sagged forward slightly, his chin hitting his chest forcefully.

"I found him on the roof, like usual. We were talking, then all the sudden he went into this massive coughing fit and it wasn't stopping. So I grabbed him, and tried to rub his throat to help the spasms. He stopped eventually, but he turned boneless in my arms. And then could barely rasp out a few words before I got him back here into bed, and he started whimpering about being hot. I need Kakashi, but he's on a mission. Fix him, I don't know what to do" Genma said, his voice straining at the end as he tried to hold back the emotions threatening to overtake him. Aoba and Raidou shared a concerned look, Genma was always the life of the group with a casual and jokingly superior air about him. Genma was also one of the few shinobi that had an uncanny ability to just roll with the punches, and was only ruffled under serious situations. The normal Genma, the one they were used to encountering was not the one currently going slowly insane before them, breaking apart at the edges. And they could tell that this wasn't something he was used to seeing, nor did it seem to be something he could handle seeing either.

They had all gone on missions plenty of times together, the four of them and Kakashi. And somewhere along the line Kotetsu and Izumo had wiggled their way into the group of friends also, even though the two knuckle heads where chunin, they'd been welcomed with open arms. Mostly because you just couldn't not enjoy spending time around the two best friends, who were quite literally attached at the hip, hand, and mouth almost constantly. They all worked well together though, all knew their strengths and weaknesses on the missions and knew just what everyone was capable of. They meshed in a way, only truly close friends could. They were all very strong and capable elite shinobi. Each had suffered from their share of injuries; mental, physical and emotional alike. But this was something entirely different, this wasn't a battered bloody comrade or a friend returning half-dead to the village, this wasn't an emotional wreak of a man breaking down into sobs or tears, and this wasn't a man still caught up in a traumatic mission lashing out at the people around him without realizing it. This wasn't a mission at all, it was just everyday life – And Hayate was suffering from something all alone, something they all knew they really couldn't fix, or patch up.

Hayate was the youngest of their close group of friends, only a year younger than the tag team chunin, but still younger. And Hayate had this childlike, innocent air about him still that many of them had lost far too many years ago. Hayate had been a jonin for a few years now, and had seen things lesser shinobi could never even hope to comprehend but Hayate had never lost his grip on reality or life. He continued to enjoy life, the smallest moments granted to him with a sort of innocent naivety that the others could easily admit to envying. None of the men in the room had ever seen Hayate this helpless before, even on the battle field half-dead and bleeding from anywhere that could be seen he'd still always stood strongly and never backed down. It wasn't comforting to see him like this, for any of them.

Raidou stepped around Genma, and kneeled next to the bed without hesitation. Reaching out he laid the back of his hand against the young jonin's forehead.

"We need to get him cooled off," Raidou said evenly, his voice calm and soothing. Genma straightened disappearing from the room instantly. He was back within seconds a large bowl filled with cold water in one hand, and a few pieces of cloth in the other.

"Do you have any ice, Genma?" Aoba said, as Genma placed the bowl next to Raidou on the floor.

"Yeah, I should." Genma answered, kneeling beside the bed and handing two of the cloth pieces over to Raidou. Aoba left the room soundlessly, as the other two began to softly run the cold water laden cloth pieces over Hayate's thin body. Genma softly ran his rag over Hayate's face, and down the side of the other boy's neck. Hayate's mouth parted in a heavy sigh, some of the tension fading from his body.

Aoba returned to the room, with a small bowl of ice chips in his hand. He instantly went to the bed, sitting against the head of the bed. He carefully maneuvered Hayate's shoulders and head into his lap, propping the small boy against his chest easily. He picked up an ice chip; slowly running it over Hayate's partially opened mouth, until the young boy opened his mouth a bit wider. Carefully placing the ice into Hayate's mouth, Aoba let out a soft sigh when he began to suck on it softly. The three troubled friends continued until the boy before them was breathing evenly, his eyes closed and head tilted to the side slightly.

"He's fallen asleep," Aoba said softly, drawing the attention of the other two shinobi. Raidou and Genma sighed softly before allowing themselves to relax and lean back away from the bed. "I think he's going to be just fine. He's been pushing too hard, and he's just completely exhausted. I didn't notice until he fell asleep just how low his chakra is right now, I'm sure that has some small part to play in this as well."

"He should be well soon then?" Raidou asked, looking up at Aoba.

"As well as Hayate can be, yes." Aoba said, with a soft smile. No one knew the reasoning behind Hayate's chronic cough. It wasn't a health problem necessarily because there wasn't a cure or fix for it, but it did plague him every day and there was nothing that anyone had been able to do about it. He took medicine daily, but it still didn't keep the coughing at bay entirely and it worsened the more exhausted his body become. It often times left the youngest of them feeling exhausted and weak, because it would keep him awake at night for days on end. Lack of sleep often resulted in the boy looking even more sickly and pale, just from the simple exhaustion. But he had never gotten this bad before, how long had the young Jonin been forgoing sleep to have crashed so completely.

"Thank you guys, I was so out of mind I could barely think. I wish Kakashi was here though" Genma said softly, closing his eyes ashamed at his own weakness. He startled when a hand clamped over his shoulder, opening his eyes to look up at Aoba.

"I would be the same, had it been Raidou," Aoba said softly, his head tilting to the side. Genma felt his cheeks begin to burn; aware that he was blushing he turned his head away only to make eye contact with Raidou who he'd forgotten was sitting next to him. Raidou was looking at him with a soft intent in his eyes; they were brimming with understanding, slight pain and sympathy.

"As would I, if it were Aoba," Raidou said, maintaining eye contact with Genma. Genma cursed himself for obviously not being as careful as he'd previously thought he was being. He'd cared about Hayate for much longer than he even dared to admit to himself, of course he'd always cared about his friends in some way or another. But this was different, this caring caused a heavy weight in his mind, a tight wrapping around his heart, and a burning need in his stomach.

Genma sighed, "I never meant for anyone to know."

"That's both selfish and unfair of you, Genma." Aoba said tightly, his hand dropping away from Genma's shoulder. Genma turned his head sharply, looking up at his friend with sad wide eyes. "To keep something like that hidden from him and from Kakashi, I never thought you to be a coward." Genma's eyes tightened as he glared at the man standing before him, pushing himself from the floor suddenly. How they knew about both of them, he had absolutely no clue. There was no way he was that easy to read.

"I'll do as I see fit," Genma whispered hotly, his hands fisted at his sides, his expressive eyes flashing so many emotions in rapid succession that it was hard to tell what he was actually feeling. Wishing for once in his life, he'd been able to keep something hidden from his friends. But they'd grown up together in a way that was far closer than he had with the other two men mentioned. Which was why Raidou and Aoba were his best friends, but Hayate and Kakashi were more, so much more. Raidou stood slowly, walking to stand next to Aoba.

"He is right Gen, and deep down you know it's the truth," Raidou said slowly, his voice soft and calm as if he were talking to a frightened and cornered animal. And maybe the situation was in actuality quite similar. Genma felt as if he'd been pushed and backed into a corner, and his eyes were spitting with a fire that burned brightly with both anger and agony equally. "We've known you a long time Genma, a very long time. Long enough to know you almost better than you truly know yourself. You shouldn't keep it all locked away, you're only going to end up hurting yourself and both of them also, if you choose to go down that road, keeping things as important as this from them."

"And you know, both of them will be pissed if they find out how much you're suffering, because of it," Aoba said softly.

Genma sighed, closing his eyes tightly against the tears that had sprung up out of nowhere. He was far too old to be acting like a teenage boy all over again. Cursing himself, he shook his head sharply before looking back at the two men standing before him. He knew they were right, hell they were always right about nearly everything. Separate Raidou and Aoba were challenging and intelligent people; though with far different personalities. But together, it was even worse. Together they had enough brain power to rival Kakashi's own genius mind.

"I know," Genma finally whispered. He stepped around the pair to look down at the sleeping boy in his bed, smiling slightly at the irony. He had always wanted to get him exactly where he currently was, but under far different circumstances. Those circumstances didn't seem to matter at this moment though; he was too caught up in worry for it to matter right now. "I know that you're both right, and I will. I just. I need a little more time."

"Soon," Aoba said knowingly, his dark eyes softening as he watched as Genma hunched forward, his body curling in on itself in a protective gesture that didn't go unnoticed by the other two conscious men in the room. Raidou and Aoba knew the younger shinobi well enough to know just how much he had been suffering, just how much pain he'd been constantly putting himself through.

"Yes… Soon," Genma turned to look at his long time friends; stepping forward into their arms he allowed them to comfort him for a few moments, losing himself within their warmth, and love. Allowing his mind to clear, and his body to relax, he burrowed deeper within their arms. Raidou shared a look with Aoba over the top of Genma's bowed head; the pain was evident in their eyes as they looked at each other. The three of them had always been so close, Genma was like their brother. And when he ached, they ached right along with him. Genma stepped out of their embrace, and looked up at them with blurry eyes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, little brother," Raidou said with a soft smile, rubbing Genma's bowed head and messing up his continuously backwards hitai-ate. Genma jokingly glared at him, causing Aoba to laugh softly.

"I'm not that much younger than either of you. Aoba is barely older than me at all!" Genma said petulantly, crossing his arms across his chest and pouting like a child. The two slightly older men laughed at his antics. "Alright, out the two of you. On with your wretchedly boring lives," Genma said dramatically, practically shoving the two jonin out his window, laughing at their agitated faces as he whispered conspiratorially "banging like bunnies!"

"One of these days Genma," Aoba said in mock threat, as he disappeared up into his own apartment a slight flush across his cheeks, Raidou silently following behind him like always. Genma smiled up at their window for a moment before ducking back into his room, shutting the window and curtains securely behind him. He blinked as his room was encased in darkness. He walked to the bed checking on Hayate, pulling the sheet up to the boy's waist before walking to the doorway. He turned back at the door, unshed tears sparkling at the corner of his eyes once again. The pain in his chest all too familiar yet foreign, as he turned away harshly, forcing himself to leave the room.

Genma sat up in the living room, body tense and mind blank staring at the wall without actually seeing it. Time continued to pass by slowly, but he paid no attention to it. He felt numb for the first time in a while, yet couldn't find any comfort in the absence of feeling. And so he stayed as he was, stoic and unmoving, as the day continued to slide by unseeing tear stained eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Fatal **

**Rating: M**

**Warning: Yaoi/Slash, BoyLove, Language**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I simply play around with the genius of others, or something. **

**Pairing: HayateGenmaKakashi ; with a side of implied AobaRaidou, KotetsuIzumo**

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**Chapter Two: Sickly Boy and Pretentious Man **

Hayate wasn't one to wake from sleep slowly; being raised a shinobi had left him with the eerie, if not annoying ability to wake instantly with acute awareness. It was one of the very things he prided himself on, though sometimes it was troublesome in its own right. He'd never gotten to enjoy slowly coming to consciousness and taking in his surroundings with closed eyes, welcoming the warmth of the morning in such fashion was unknown to him entirely. He sat up quickly, instantly knowing he wasn't in his own home and that he couldn't remember how he'd gotten into the bed he was currently spread across. He rubbed at his chest, his breath ragged, as he coughed hoarsely a few times. Blinking into the darkness it took him a few more seconds to realize that he wasn't in danger, and he was currently in Genma's room. And he could hear the muffled noises from outside the bedroom, feel the warmth of Genma's chakra as it pulsed.

He closed his eyes tightly against the pain that he was slowly becoming aware of now that he knew there was no threat, his entire body ached, every single muscled felt like it was on fire. He groaned loudly, allowing his body to fall back against the bed without resistance. He coughed a few times trying to catch his breath, the sudden movement knocking the wind out of him slightly as he gasped sharply. He squinted; opening his eyes as a stream of light suddenly bathed the bed. It took him a second to clear his blurry vision, blinking rapidly until Genma's outline came into focus, his silhouette outlined by the dim lights behind him, from where he stood in the doorway.

"Hayate?" Genma spoke softly into the room, eyes narrowing as he attempted to make out the entire form of the younger boy on his bed, unsure if he was awake or simply making noises in his sleep.

"Gen," Hayate rasped his throat sore and dry, he coughed roughly his body seizing with pain.

"I'll get you some water, don't move," Genma said, quickly disappearing from the doorway. Hayate chuckled through the pain, wondering where exactly Genma thought he would be moving to. He barely had another moment to process the pain before Genma was sliding into the room again, flicking the lights on. Only to flick them off almost as instantly, as Hayate screamed and covered his eyes tightly with his hands, his muscles protesting at the rapid movements and forcing him to bite back a few choice words. Hayate whimpered pathetically, though he'd more than likely deny it later, as he coughed again sliding his hands to cover his mouth. "Shit, sorry 'Yate."

"It's 'kay," Hayate murmured, slowly lowering his hands. Genma set the glass of water down on the side table, before slowly helping Hayate into a sitting position with his back supported by the wall. Holding the glass up to the pale boy's lips, he helped the weak shinobi drink the entire glass.

"More?" Genma asked softly. Hayate blinked slowly, his body feeling worn and sluggish. He nodded minutely, unable to form the words in his mind let alone able to get them to leave his mouth. Genma sighed, petting Hayate's head softly for a few moments before shaking his head and disappearing to fill the glass again. Hayate's slightly narrowed eyes followed him out of the room, brow quirked in slightly apprehensive wonder. Genma returned again, his movements slow and fluid before dropping to help Hayate drink another full glass of water.

"What happened?" Hayate sighed, letting his head slide back against the wall softly.

"I'm not actually sure," Genma started slowly. Moving from the bed to pace across the floor of his bedroom, glass still tightly clutched in his hand. Hayate tilted his head slightly, suddenly noticing for the first time that Genma looked weary and ragged, and that his signature senbon was not currently between his lips. Instead his already bruised lower lip was clenched tightly between two rows of sharp white teeth.

"Gen," Hayate said softly, something in his voice causing Genma's head to snap up sharply to look at the younger boy. "Don't do this to yourself." Genma's head tilted to the side, utterly confused at what Hayate had just said.

"Do what?" Genma asked, biting his lip even more harshly, before wincing and forcefully unclenching his teeth from around his abused lip.

"Don't tear yourself apart," Hayate coughed, taking a minute to catch his breath. "Don't worry so much."

Genma growled at the younger boy, his hands fisting into his hair as he pulled slightly. Hayate's brow furrowed, something was really wrong, he hadn't seen Genma like this in quite a while, not since the night Hayate had come back from his first solo assassination mission actually. Genma rarely ever allowed himself to be caught up in his own emotions, especially not enough to actually show them by his movements or reactions. But he was now; his body seemed to be totally out of his control as he was fighting to keep himself together.

"I can't lose you," Genma said finally, his voice so soft that Hayate had barely even heard him at all. Hayate's eyes narrowed slightly. "I just can't, 'Yate. I'm not strong enough."

"Gen, I don't –"

"I know!" Genma cut him off. "I know you don't. How could you? Why would you! And I'm sorry," Genma started pacing again, his lip now bleeding from the abuse of his teeth, yet he seemed unaware as he continued to gnaw on it yet again. "I just can't, you can't leave me," Genma's voice hardened, and he turned dark eyes towards the confused boy in his bed. "You just can't. I don't care, I won't let you!"

"Genma," Hayate started slowly, not all together sure what he was actually going to say, because he didn't entirely understand. Hayate had never thought about a day without his few close friends, his mind automatically figured they'd always have each other, it had never even crossed his mind that he might actually have to live without Genma, or Kakashi or any of the others someday.

"You can't go," Genma said softly, now standing stiffly at the window, forehead against the cool glass, as he parted the curtains slightly. Hayate startled from his thoughts, turning to look at Genma standing like a rigid solider, body bracing for a blow.

"Gen –" Hayate was cut off by a loud rap against the window, which startled Genma so much he jumped and stumbled over his own feet, falling to the ground harshly as the cup he'd still held in his hand broke as it made contact with the floor.

"Fuck," Genma growled, grasping at his hand in pain, as blood slowly pooled. He cursed again, fisting his hand tightly at his side. He shakily got to his feet, glaring at the window as he made his way back to it slowly. Flinging it open, he was seconds away from cursing out the person at the window, until a lithe body swung with ease into the room nearly colliding into Genma, who sidestepped at the last second, once again cursing beneath his breath. Genma tilted his head to glare at the silver headed man now standing next to him. "Kakashi," Genma glared.

"Yo, Gen-Gen," Kakashi said, his voice light with mirth. Genma sighed, feeling the tension leaving his body almost immediately with the other's presence. Kakashi's head tilted forward slightly, before his arms flashed out and he pulled Genma against him harshly, kissing the older man's temple softly. "You holding up okay?" He whispered soft enough that Hayate couldn't hear them, knowing that the boy would just get himself worked up at the mention of either man being worried over him. Genma nodded his head slightly in the positive, without really realizing.

"Barely," Genma whispered, hands clasping onto Kakashi's shirt as he hugged him, before hissing and pulling his hand away quickly. Kakashi pulled back and looked down quickly, noting the blood smeared across Genma's hand and the multiple slices.

"Genma, what did-"

"Nothing!" Genma growled his anger, worry and pain all causing him to tense once again and move further away from Kakashi. He turned towards his wardrobe, quickly and crudely wrapping his hand. Kakashi and Hayate both watched him with tight eyes, coming to the shared conclusion that something was really off with Genma. Kakashi allowed himself a moment to get his head back on straight, knowing that Genma would just step further away if he pushed the subject right now. So instead, he turned towards the bed quickly, eyes sweeping over the younger boy propped up there.

"How's my favorite sickly boy!" Kakashi said, his eye crinkling with laughter. Neither noticed as Genma tensed. Hayate smiled slightly, shaking his head at the man and resisting the urge to roll his eyes, but the tension across his shoulders and the worry in his eyes was still very much visible to the copy-nin.

"I'm fine," Hayate finally answered. Kakashi nodded, sliding onto the bed next to Hayate, pulling him into a one armed hug and pressing a masked kiss against his temple as well. Hayate leaned into the warmth, leaning his head against Kakashi's broad shoulder.

Genma continued rummaging around through drawers even though his hand was wrapped up already, he just wasn't sure he was stable enough to actually witness the closeness he knew he'd find between the two younger men if he turned around. He sighed softly to himself, shaking his head at his own foolishness.

"Good," Kakashi said, feeling the tension he had been feeling melt away completely after seeing the boy looking nearly normal. After having a quick conversation with Raidou and Aoba he'd felt nothing but worry for both of the shinobi currently in the room with him. "Well, on my way here, I was trying to think of the perfect get well present," Kakashi turned and shot a mock glare towards Genma's back, who had snorted before continuing on. "And I thought, 'Oh! I know – I'll share my favorite thing, with my favorite boy!'"

The tension that rushed suddenly back throughout Genma's entire body went unnoticed yet again by the two men in the bed. Genma pushed down the pain, and forced himself to turn around slowly. Regardless of everything else, Hayate and Kakashi had been his friends first and he'd been the idiot who'd gone and fallen for the two of them, at the same time.

Hayate groaned, "No Kakashi."

"What? You don't even know what I got –"

"I'm not accepting that trash," Hayate said, tilting his head back to look up at the silver haired man. Kakashi tilted his head down, pressing his nose against Hayate's.

"Trash!" Kakashi exclaimed, his eye widening. "My precious, loving, perfect, magnificent –"

"Kashi," Genma sighed.

"Oh right," Kakashi tilted his head back on a sigh. "Fine, I suppose I'll just have to find some other sickly boy and pretentious man to share my precious book with." Kakashi untangled his arm from around Hayate, and made to get up off the bed. Hayate whined at the loss of contact and warmth, growling and pulling Kakashi quite forcefully back against him. Kakashi's eye widened for a moment, surprised at the strength at which he'd been pulled back with. He smirked, patting Hayate's head softly.

"No," Hayate mumbled, burying his head against Kakashi's neck as he wiggled himself back under his arm. Genma frowned slightly, twitching to turn away once again from the sight before him, but forcing himself to look, to acknowledge and to accept it for what it was. It had always been easier for Kakashi and Hayate to exchange physical comfort with one another, than it was for Genma with either of them. The three of them had slowly become closer and closer to one another over the years, their friendship crossing the normal boundaries of any friendship and yet in all the important ways it was still so much like a normal friendship. Genma was never jealous over the touches the other two shared, because Kakashi and Hayate went together as well as Genma and Hayate did, and Genma and Kakashi did. They all fit together, just differently.

It wasn't jealousy, or even envy exactly. Though sometimes he found himself upset that they could show one another their care so easily, in a way that Genma wasn't sure he'd ever be allowed to. But, he did definitely always feel uncomfortable, as if he was intruding on a private and intimate moment that his eyes should not be witnessing. Genma felt an ache of need and want pulse deep within him, and knew that he had to talk to them, both of them soon or else he was going to end up breaking all over the place. Genma watched as Kakashi and Hayate cuddled against one another, talking so softly that Genma couldn't hear them, and he felt a strong surge of pain rush through him.

He was suddenly overwhelmed with just how left out he felt, something he had never felt around them before. It was never a competition; they'd always just been the three of them for the past few years together, a team. They had never closed Genma out from anything, always welcoming him with metaphorical open arms. But, for the first time since the day they'd all met he felt pushed aside and forgotten. Their daily lives had started revolving around one another, they'd begun to gravitate towards and around one another somewhere along the line, but Genma suddenly felt like he didn't fit there anymore, as if he'd been quickly and thoroughly cast aside without a second thought. It was as if they'd finally decided to get rid of the extra baggage. And the foolishness he sometimes felt came back with a strong and bitter vengeance so suddenly it nearly knocked him to his knees. How could he have not realized sooner just how much further away from the two of them he'd actually been all this time. But they had never looked more beautiful. Like they belonged together, fit together, molded against one another Genma couldn't help but notice how perfectly Hayate's smaller body fit against Kakashi's.

He bit his lip harshly, feeling the previous cut slice back open as the blood trickled into his mouth and down his chin. Closing his eyes against the images of Kakashi and Hayate together without him, as they tumbled through his mind, fists clenching at his sides, he turned away harshly. He pushed down all the harsh words that suddenly wanted to spew out of his mouth, knowing they'd all be lies and hurtful to all of them. He should have known, he shouldn't have been so stupid. He felt the burn in the back of his throat, the sting in his eyes and he knew that he was going to breakdown and cry yet again. And he had to get away; he couldn't allow himself to hurt them not now, not ever. He had to protect them from his pain, or else he would end pulling them down right along with him.

"Gen?" Hayate said, his voice soft yet rough. Genma didn't turn around, didn't acknowledge his name, didn't answer the boy because he couldn't formulate the words he wanted to say and nothing but bitter anger was currently coursing through his entire system. The temptation to yell, to thrash about, to curse, scream and cry about the unfairness of it all was so overwhelming that he had to close his eyes and force down the bitter bile of self hatred. He fought down the tears, the pain, and the hurt. He walked towards the door, his steps faltering at the door. He hesitated a moment, before forcing himself out of the bedroom, shutting the door behind him with a definite click before walking towards the kitchen quickly.

Hayate and Kakashi both sat there, motionless staring at the now closed door, as the emptiness pressed upon them suddenly. Hayate's hands squeezed tighter against Kakashi, his face tight with pain.

"Kashi," Hayate whimpered.

"I know love," Kakashi whispered, stroking a hand over Hayate's head softly. "Let me go talk to him. You should get some more sleep anyways. Let me take care of this."

Hayate nodded, burying his nose against Kakashi's neck pulling back before the urge to kiss him became too strong. Kakashi turned towards Hayate, looked down at the smaller boy in his arms.

"We promised," Hayate said softly.

"I know," Kakashi replied, closing his eye tightly against the pain. "We wouldn't without him, and we won't. Not ever Hayate, I hope you know that without –"

"We can't without him," Hayate whispered. "I know."

Kakashi nodded, moving off the bed. He turned back to help Hayate settle back against the bed, tucking the small boy under the covers securely. He pulled a lock of dark hair softly, causing Hayate to smile up at him. Kakashi pressed a kiss against his temple. The injustice of the world, of the life they lead crashed down on him suddenly and he fought down the uncharacteristic urge to shed tears. He hadn't allowed himself that luxury in far too long, but it almost felt as if this situation called for them. Pure clear crystals filled with the sorrow, the longing, the emotions that swirled within him but he hadn't always been able to define until Hayate had put it all into words and perspective for him.

The longing burned so brightly, so forcefully, so pure and raw within him. Sometimes he wasn't sure how he'd managed in life at all without the solid strength of Genma, or the quiet caring of Hayate. They completed his person in a way he could never explain, they kept him grounded and made him whole. They filled the empty holes that had been punched through him long ago, filled the aches and soothed the pains.

"Sleep now, I'll take care of everything."

"Okay," Hayate mumbled sleepily, his eyes already becoming heavy as he burrowed further into the softness of the bed, surrounded by the pure masculine scent of Genma that helped lull him to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Fatal **

**Rating: M**

**Warning: Slash, Language**

**Disclaimer: This is just the same old song and dance; I own nothing. **

**A/N: So, lack of reviews makes me wonder if anyone's even enjoying the story. Though, I suppose my own love for the story continues to push it forward regardless. I would like even a small amount of feedback though; every author likes to feel appreciated after all. This chapter didn't turn out exactly how I'd orginally intended, but I ended up liking it more than the direction I thought I wanted the story to take. Well anyways, hope you enjoy the new chapter. **

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**Chapter Three: Troubled Minds, and Guarded Hearts**

Kakashi left the room soundlessly, closing the door tightly behind him and allowing himself a few moments alone to collect himself. He was the sane one, the level headed one, the supposedly confident and collected one. Though all those rumors seemed to have constructed a mask of falsified indifference covering up the true personality of Kakashi Hatake, much in the same fashion his mask covered his own facial features, because Kakashi was a genius after all and with all that knowledge came the unnerving ability to hide nearly every truth about himself. The truth was he rarely ever felt overly confident in anything not pertaining to the subtle art of assassination, and sanity was something that no good shinobi could lay claim to. Level headedness was a gift granted to him through genetics, but even that had failed its predecessors eventually. And he was a genius, had the ability to think about every situation logically, he was supposed to be ten steps ahead always planning his next move, his next actions. But now, all he felt was young and helpless and definitely overly terrified for the first time in his life nearly to the point of shock.

Hayate was the careful, loving and affection boy that seemed to be unaffected by the harshness of life as a shinobi. He understood his duty, and he did it with a never wavering sense of loyalty and love for his village and the people within it. Hayate felt the guilt and bitterness of his life, but he also knew that if it wasn't him it would be someone else out there, someone maybe even younger or more delicate than he was. Hayate seemed fragile and broken sometimes, but he was anything but that. Kakashi had the suspicion that Hayate was stronger and more held together than himself and Genma combined.

But, Genma was a soft soul deep down, protective and possessive of his friends and their wellbeing. Genma was the type to sacrifice himself first, and ask question about how much damaged he'd done to himself much later after everyone else was safe and sound. Genma was the last person to ever receive medical attention, because he wanted and needed everyone else to be okay before he could even process his own aches and pains. Genma was a strong shinobi, one of Konoha's best kept secrets because he just didn't seem like he cared enough to be much good at anything. But Genma's tactical knowledge was far beyond most of the ANBU members. And yet he never lost himself within the bitter art of shinobi life, he never allowed it to break him, or bend him. He'd be the last person you'd want to capture, and the first person to throw himself into a tough situation.

And Kakashi, he was the only one of the three that wasn't any good with emotions, he'd been so careful about who he allowed into his life. So cautious with the people around him, because he'd lost so much already and he felt so close to the edge constantly that he wasn't so much afraid of losing someone else as he was afraid of hurting them instead. Calm, collected and detached Kakashi Hatake, genius prodigy with the sharingan eye. Kakashi was an elite shinobi, a weapon for his village that he allowed to use him willingly. He was better overall than Genma and Hayate would ever become, no matter how much they trained or practiced. But while they still held onto their emotions, their humanity, their control Kakashi struggled to be the most basic thing in life; human. Kakashi was in a constant battle of will, power and control.

Kakashi cursed to himself, his life was nothing but a long story of twisted trials and misery. He hated his past, hated what he'd been as a youth, bitterness filled a lot of his body and soul and he didn't always have the ability to find his way out of that darkness. Not until Hayate and Genma at least. Since them, their sweet and affectionate dispositions had pushed Kakashi to want to be something better, something more than what he'd settled for long ago.

The two of them, one older and one younger than Kakashi had both somehow wormed themselves into his life, quite easily and without him even noticing at first. Then eventually, along with Genma came Raidou and Aoba. And then suddenly there was Ko and Zu, the dynamic chunin duo, the ones that seemed to follow Genma around like lost puppies and teased Hayate relentlessly with nothing but pure brotherly affection in their eyes. Genma had been too kind and friendly to ever push them away, and then after a while, the chunins had grown on the whole ground and found their own place within the mix and match group of shinobi. He'd found himself surrounded by more people than he'd wanted to allow himself to actually consciously care about. He didn't think he could take another heavy or emotional toll; it just might finally break the supposedly unbreakable copy-nin. He sighed softly, rubbing a hand over his face slowly. Pulling himself together finally, he set his shoulders and went in search of Genma.

Kakashi found Genma in the kitchen, body hunched over the sink as he sobbed harshly. Kakashi could tell Genma was trying to muffle the sounds, and knew that his lip was probably a bloody disaster by now. He felt a small stab of pain go through his chest, as he frowned. He stepped forward quickly, wrapping his arms around the shaking man, unsure of how else to offer some comfort. Genma tensed immediately for a few seconds, before his body was wracked by a whole new and sharper set of deep sobs. Kakashi's face furrowed in confusion, mask stretching across his mouth as he frowned deeply.

"No," Genma whimpered, the pain too close to the surface. He knew any second it would be too late, and he'd break even further. "Please, don't." Kakashi's hands tightened, as he secured his arms around the man even tighter, pulling him closer. Genma's entire body started to shake violently, and Kakashi felt his own hands start to shake as well. He had seen Genma in many different states of emotional turmoil or emptiness, during and even after missions. But, in all that time he'd never seen Genma like this, never seen the man so completely – broken. It causes a sharp pain in Kakashi's chest, one he didn't enjoy at all. And the worst part was not knowing what had caused it, or how to even attempt to fix it. Kakashi, the all-knowing-nin, found himself suddenly unsure of how to deal with a situation, something that wasn't comforting in the slightest.

"Gen-Gen," Kakashi whispered, pressing his forehead against the other man's shaking shoulder. Genma, no longer able to handle it, ripped himself from Kakashi's grasp so suddenly it caused both men to stumble slightly, before righting themselves. Kakashi reached for Genma, but he flinched away from him so violently that Kakashi pulled his hand away quickly, his eye flashing in pain that overcame him so suddenly he couldn't keep it from his expression.

"God, please don't," Genma whispered. "I can't take it. No more. I can't take anymore. It's too hard, and it's too much. And it just hurts, so much. I can't. I can't." Kakashi wasn't sure what exactly Genma was rambling about; frustrated that one time it was exceedingly important to be able to figure something out his genius mind was failing him. But it seemed Genma wasn't done babbling as he continued, "It's so hard, you know, so fucking hard."

"What is?" Kakashi questioned softly, no less confused than before.

"How perfect you two are," Genma bit out harshly, whirling around to glare at the silver haired man. Kakashi flinched, eye widening at Genma's expression, and he felt a deep ache in his chest. If he thought he was confused before, that confusion had just somehow managed to manifest ten-fold. It took him far too long to get his head back together, as he stood confused and overwhelmed, gaping and staring openly at the man before him.

"What?" Kakashi asked suddenly, his voice tight and sharp. Kakashi was unsure if he really even wanted an answer to that question.

"You and Hayate, you're so bloody perfect. And I can't help it. I didn't mean to. It wasn't supposed to…" Genma sighed, hands tugging on his hair, in a clear sign of distress. And Kakashi fought down the urge to step forward once again and embrace the shaking man, he tried to maneuver through his own thoughts but wasn't making any progress there at all. "I didn't do it on purpose." Genma finally said his eyes dropping closed as his body seemed to curl in on itself in defeat. Kakashi still wasn't sure what Genma was really trying to say. He wasn't making enough sense to get his point across, and Kakashi couldn't understand what Genma was so worked up about but he was overcome with the intense desire to fix it, to do anything Genma needed, wanted, just to get that stricken, panic and pained look from the usually content face. Genma's face wasn't meant for pain, or panic. Genma had a beautifully constructed face, solid and strong, made for immense pleasure and eternal joy. Genma's face was nothing short of magnificent and addicting when it was washed with the flush of joy and complete happiness. No traces of that could be currently found on the tear-stained face of the extremely tortured man looking up at Kakashi with wide fearful eyes.

"Genma," Kakashi said softly, taking a careful step closer.

"No, no," Genma said quickly, having sensed the movement, his eyes flashing in panic as he backed up quickly. Kakashi felt something tighten in his throat; he had never seen Genma this terrified before, especially of him. "I can't take it if you touch me." And that got Kakashi's attention, halting his movement immediately. Kakashi tried to wrap his mind around that sentence, unsure of what exactly it implied. His confusion only seemed to expand further, and he was overly tired of not understanding what was going on. Frustration started to weigh down on him, and he tried to push the bubbling anger away as it began to build beneath the thinly chained control Kakashi currently held onto.

"You've never had a problem with me touching you before," Kakashi said slowly, working to keep the hurt, anger and confusion from his voice. He was watching Genma closely now, noticing how the man seemed to be turned away slightly as if ready to brace for a hit or possibly to flee. Kakashi definitely didn't like what the stance was implying, and he tried to fight back his own pain because he could tell just how close to the edge Genma really was. And Kakashi wasn't sure that breaking apart completely something Genma would be able to come back from, Genma had an overly fragile heart that tended to mend much slower than most. Kakashi was assaulted by a stray thought from years ago when he'd first met Genma; he'd thought the man was too soft, too kind, and far too open for his own good. Now though, those exact qualities were the things that Kakashi loved most about the man standing before him.

"No, I haven't," Genma laughed bitterly, and Kakashi didn't think he liked the sound of that laugh coming from Genma at all. Kakashi had never seen Genma give up at anything, never seen him so defeated looking, even when they'd been on the losing end of a battle. Genma was always the first one into a fight, and the last one out. Quitting was just something Genma didn't seem to know how to do. "Why would I? Why would I have a problem with it, when I want it so much," Genma finished his voice filled with a sort of painful longing that Kakashi could easily identify with. Kakashi felt his entire body stop functioning for a minute, as he allowed himself a moment to soak in what those few simple words meant. His hands were suddenly twitching to reach for the man standing before him looking so sweetly vulnerable.

"Gen, I –"

"No, it's okay," Genma said quickly, lifting his hands up. "I don't think I can hear you say it out loud, just let me hold on a little bit more, just a little longer. I knew it was foolish, you know, falling in love with both of you. So fucking foolish. I should have known I always saw the signs. You two weren't trying to hide anything I suppose." Genma took a deep breath, turning his head to the side as Kakashi's head tilted in confusion. One step forward and five steps back that seemed to be the theme of this conversation. Kakashi was just on the end of grasping something, and then Genma threw something new into the mix messing up Kakashi's thoughts all over again. "And you two just fit so well, like puzzle pieces."

"Genma, we –"

"I know!" Genma screamed tears now falling freely down brightened cheeks, but Kakashi really didn't think he knew at all. How could Genma not see it all? "I can see it now, you know. The way you comfort him in a way I've never been allowed to. The way he leans into, needing you. The way you protect him, though he hates it so much but never says anything because he knows how much you need to do it. How much you've always needed to just make sure he's okay, watching over him so closely. It's all there, in the way his hands fidget, and I can tell sometimes he just wants to pull your mask down, but doesn't because he respects that you don't want anyone else to see. The way you whisper each other's names, like it's the first, last and only thing you'll ever need to say to each other. And it's so painful sweet and heartbreaking sometimes, how together you just seem to connect, and fit. God, the way you two look at each other sometimes, like if you couldn't see each other, you wouldn't be able to live. The way you're never tense, or detached when he's around, because he won't let you be." Genma laughed then, that cold bitter laugh and Kakashi tensed at the sound, deciding that he didn't dislike the sound coming from Genma's sweet mouth but instead he hated it. "Did you know that he stands on the roof, every morning staring at the sky? He loves the sky, the rising of the sun, he almost never misses it. But, that's not all; he's up there to look at the sky but he's always facing the memorial. Facing the way he knows you are, knows you're there remembering and suffering and beating yourself up for things you couldn't have changed."

Kakashi flinched, because he hadn't known that, but more than that he hadn't realized how much Genma actually knew. How could he have allowed himself to be blind to just how much Genma was noticing, and how much he was suffering because of it. And he called himself a genius, gloating in his own selfish awareness of himself because he thought he knew everything, could see everything, but he'd been so stupid, so foolish, so selfish. Kakashi wanted to turn away from Genma, didn't want to see the pain but he knew he deserved to see this, because this brokenness was his own fault.

"But he doesn't go to you, because he knows you would hate for him to see you there, how broken you are. But I know what it is you're working so hard to protect him from. Have you forgotten, that I have seen you there, in that deep dark lost place where you're just so angry at everything and everyone. It's the same place that you hide all the pain and the bitterness, bottling it up into your own sense of unworthiness. I know that you lock yourself within that cold place, beating yourself up and cursing your own self because you lived, because you survived. But you don't care how much it hurts you, you won't ever let him see you that way, because it'll crush Hayate, it'll tear him apart because he'll want to fix you, mend you, but he already has… in his own soothing way he already has. And I see it now," Genma choked slightly, tears continuing to fall without his knowledge, as Kakashi could do nothing but stand and watch Genma fall apart in silent horror. "I didn't mean to, I really didn't. Please, just don't hate me," Genma whispered softly, falling forward as his knees finally gave out.

Kakashi thanked his quick reflexes as he caught Genma before he fell against the unforgiving ground, cradle the man into his arms, as they both slid to the floor. He didn't know what to say, or what to do, or what to think. This wasn't how it was suppose to happen. No one was supposed to get hurt by this, ever. They'd been careless and cruel; they'd been so worried about his rejection that they hadn't realized how they'd already been rejecting him. All this time, all this damn time Genma had been slowly falling apart piece by piece and they had been too absorbed in their own pain, and fear to even notice him. Genma always in the corner, always bottling things away, always locking himself further out of reach because they'd forced him to, because they'd given him no other choice.

Kakashi wanted to cry then, cry for the broken man in his arms because he deserved so much more than this pain, such a soft, innocent soul torn apart by the dark cruelness of him yet again. Kakashi couldn't believe he'd caused this, his worst fear seemed to be coming true right before his eyes, he'd hurt someone dear to him, broken and beaten. Kakashi whimpered softly, his arms tightening around the shaking man in his arms that felt much thinner than he should.

"Genma?" Hayate whispered, his voice soft and broken, causing both of the men on the living room floor to jump in surprise.

"Oh god," Genma groaned, scrambling away from Kakashi so quickly he didn't have the time to grab him back. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Genma kept moving backwards, shaking his head and apologizing over and over. Hayate was trembling, tears rolling down pale cheeks, as he supported himself against the wall, coughing and breathing raggedly.

"You shouldn't be out of bed," Kakashi said suddenly, when he noticed just how pale and shaky Hayate was. Kakashi moved quickly to help Hayate, as he swayed slightly. Hayate batted the hands away glaring at Kakashi, before pushing away from the wall and shakily walking towards Genma.

"Stop it Kashi, that isn't important," Hayate said harshly. Kakashi shook his head, realizing what he'd just done once again. His worry over Hayate's health and safety always seemed to jump ahead of everything else, because he'd always seen Genma as such a solid, strong person he didn't think he needed to be coddled or protected or comforted. How stupid, how wrong he'd been. _Such a fool_, Kakashi thought to himself, smacking his face slightly. "Gen?"

Genma didn't seem to really notice them; he was curled upon himself against the wall, as far away from them he could get, still shaking and whimpering softly. Hayate rubbed at his own burning eyes, brushing away the tears blinding his vision, as his legs wobbled.

"Goddamnit Kakashi, help me get over to him," Hayate said angrily, as his legs nearly gave out on him. Kakashi snapped back to attention quickly, grabbed Hayate a little roughly and flashing across the room to Genma's side quickly. Hayate's head rolled slightly, closing his eyes to make the room stop spinning for a second as he was overcome with a strong flash of nausea and cough attack. Kakashi winced, he didn't know what was wrong with him, but he just felt so out of it all the sudden. He'd never felt so lost before, like he couldn't quite get a grasp as he continued to slip in every direction except the right one.

"Sorry," he mumbled softly, rubbing a hand over Hayate's head softly. Hayate leaned into the touch, allowing the warmth to comfort him for a moment, before he moved away. Now wasn't the time to take comfort in something that had hurt the man before him, he couldn't believe how truly careless they'd been.

"Gen," Hayate started. Genma didn't seem to hear him, as he continued to sit silently, tears still falling, as he continued whimpering out his endless apologetic mantra. Hayate clenched a fist against his chest, rubbing slightly. The pain was overwhelming, and he closed his eyes against it forcing it down because his own pain did not matter here, not now.

"It hurts," Kakashi said softly, noticing Hayate's movement. "We were careless and so thoughtless. So worried about the stupidest things."

"We hurt him," Hayate whispered brokenly. "No one was supposed to be hurt Kashi." Kakashi turned away from the soft, hurting eyes that looked up to him, guilt pouring over him. It was his fault really, it was his fault entirely.

"I'm so sorry Hayate," Kakashi said softly.

"You aren't the only one to blame. And it's not me that you need to apologize to."

"I know," Kakashi whispered.

"Genma," Hayate said evenly. Genma flinched slightly, but otherwise didn't acknowledge them. "Genma damnit, look at me." Kakashi started slightly because Hayate rarely ever cursed, he was always such a shy and soft spoken boy. Kakashi watched Hayate closely, noticing the way his face was pinched with both the physical pain of his still weak body, and the painful reflection of what they'd done to Genma.

"I can't," Genma whispered finally. "I can't, don't make me, I can't."

"Please Gen, please," Hayate whimpered, moving closer at a highly subdued rate hoping not to startle the other man with quick movements that would only serve to set him even more on edge. Kakashi's gifted red eye unexpectedly began to leak tears under his hitai-ate, soaking the edge of his mask. Genma shook slightly, closing his eyes tightly against the pain – and god was it painful. Slowly though he fought down the urge to flee because no matter how much it hurt, he couldn't escape from the fact that he did love the two younger men. Sighing and making a poor attempt at pulling himself together Genma lifted his head slowly, locking eyes with Hayate. Genma had never been able to refuse the boy before, and figured now wasn't the time to start either. Genma tensed as a warm hand brushed over his head, knowing instantly it was Kakashi's, and he had to fight down the urge to flinch away from slim pale hands that were now petting his hair softly.

"Genma," Kakashi whispered softly. "Everything you said," Kakashi stopped abruptly, jumping when Genma's entire body flinched backwards slamming against the wall with an echoing thud. Genma groaned in pain as his vision swam so rapidly the entire room blurred before his eyes. "Damnit Genma," Kakashi pulled Genma away from the wall hastily, forcing the protesting man into his lap, turning slightly towards Hayate who moved closer to them.

"Can't we just," Genma started, his voice shaking. "Just forget what I said."

"No," Hayate said softly. "No we can't. We're going to talk about it Genma." And Hayate struggled against his own fears and pain, biting back the pure sadness that was threatening to tear him apart from the inside out. He couldn't believe how badly it hurt to see Genma this lost, and broken. Hayate wished they could forget the pain, and just start all over, in a completely different way. But that wasn't possible any longer, they'd put this off for far too long already.

"After we apologize," Kakashi whispered softly, leaning his head against Genma's shoulder. Kakashi turned his head, burying it into the silky strands of Genma's hair, allowing the older man's warmth and scent to calm his rattled nerves.

"Apologize?" Genma whispered, fighting against the urge to either lean into Kakashi's warmth further or bolt out of the room entirely. But he knew that seeking comfort from either was no longer appropriate on that level, if it ever had been. He wondered idly if they'd only accepted his touches, not wanting to hurt his feelings, or possibly just not wanting him to find out. Genma pushed that thought away instantly, because that was even more painful. The thought of them merely indulging him to keep him away from their secret, seemed like an absolute betrayal. And that was something he wasn't so sure he could learn to deal with or forgive.

"Yes. For hurting you," Kakashi said, finally finding his voice again. "I'm sorry for being careless and cruel. But most of all I'm so sorry for hurting you, Gen-Gen."

"And I'm sorry also," Hayate said softly, his voice cracking on a deep cough. Hayate placed his hand over Genma's shaking and cold digits, caressing the artistic fingers thoughtfully. "So sorry Gen, we never meant to hurt you like this. It wasn't supposed to happen like this."

"You mean I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you, ruining your perfect little comfortable relationship." Genma said his voice weary and troubled. He was tired, just so tired. He didn't want to fight anymore. He just wanted to tell them to leave, then crawl in his bed, and cry it out for a few days.

"That's not what I meant at all," Hayate said slowly, realizing how deeply set Genma's pain was, how betrayed the older man must truly feel. "This isn't what you think."

"Are you going to tell me," Genma started, his gaze lifting to Hayate's once again, eyes clear and steady even through the tears that wouldn't stop falling. "That everything I said isn't the truth."

"No," Kakashi answered. "We aren't going to tell you that."

"Because it was the truth," Hayate said. "But only part of the truth."

"I don't think –"

"I don't care," Kakashi growled, cutting Genma off. "I don't care what you think you know right now Genma, because you don't know everything. So stop acting like a child, and listen to us for once in your life." Genma flinched so abruptly that Kakashi was almost regretful for how harshly he'd spoken.

"Kashi," Hayate scolded, but Kakashi was already far beyond his breaking point.

"No Hayate, Genma isn't going to listen to us unless we are straight up with him. We've tried to be subtle, we were soft and cautious. It's obvious we were far too careful and I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. But, that didn't work; look what happened when that's what we did!" Hayate and Genma both winced, as Kakashi's voice jumped breaking faintly.

"I don't need to be told, I get it already," Genma said roughly, voice thick with emotion and fatigue. "Why do you have to torture me more, telling me yourselves how much you love each other, how much you need each other, how much you fucking want each other when I can see it, you two -."

"Because that isn't all there is!" Kakashi's voice rose drastically, his hands stiffening around Genma's stomach as his mouth snapped shut in shock. Kakashi never lost his cool, even when angered, excited or scared, his voice was always the same even almost monotonous volume. Always staying in control was one of the things Kakashi prided himself on. "Oh, are you listening to me now? Are you hearing me now? Do I have your goddamn attention Genma!"

"Yes," Genma whimpered, as he felt a trickle of fear for the first time as Kakashi's hands tightened to any almost bruising pressure around him. Hayate's hand tightened over his, and he couldn't help but feel a small sense of comfort from the touch even as he continued to berate himself for it.

"Good," Hayate started, allowing Kakashi the few moments he needed to collect himself yet again. "Everything you said was true Genma, and I'm amazed you saw all that, picked up on so much from so little. But I shouldn't be, you've just always been there. Watchful and worried about everyone, you notice things we sometimes miss because you're always carefully protecting us. And we all know each other so well, don't we? We've always been oddly close to one another, all three of us. Even before we were really friends, before we really cared about one another, there was always something there. We just gravitated towards one another in a way that has never been explainable."

"Underneath the underneath," Kakashi muttered lowly.

"Yeah," Genma said on a sigh, resigning himself to just listen, with the hope they would say what they needed to and then kindly leave him alone to wallow in his own misery and wounded pride for a while. Genma knew realistically deep down that it wasn't their fault, but the pain was still too new and sharp for him to see past that yet. He just hoped their friendship dynamic wasn't shot to hell now.

"But what you didn't see Genma, what you don't see. Is that Hayate always has to watch you walk away. His eyes linger on you until he can't see you anymore, and he can't seem to make himself turn around and walk away until he knows that you're gone entirely from his vision," Kakashi said softly, and Genma tensed slightly. "It's there in the way that he whispers your name sometimes, when you're just out of reach, because he doesn't dare say it loud enough for you to hear. He's terrified for you to see how much he needs you to wrap your arms around him and tell him that it's okay, to let him know that he's going to be okay. And you were right he has wanted to pull down my mask, and I've offered only once. He immediately refused though Genma, all because he doesn't want to see until you can see too. He doesn't want permission into that secure part of my life, until you're there being granted the same exact permission at the same exact time."

"It didn't seem fair otherwise," Hayate whispered.

"Though," Kakashi laughed, though it was a forced and fake sound even to his own ears, "I don't see why either of you care so much either way, what's under this mask is nothing special."

"Don't say that," Genma whispered harshly. Kakashi hugged Genma, placing a fleeting kiss against his temple.

"Okay, I won't," Kakashi agreed easily, and Genma nodded.

"Genma," Hayate said softly, and Genma slowly lifted his eyes to look at Hayate. "Kakashi's allowed you to see a part of him no one else has ever lived to see, not even me. He's allowed you to see him like that, because he needs you to fix him, not me. That's the way it is you know, the reason we fit. You take care of Kashi, because you want to and because he needs you to do it. Kashi protects me, because he needs to keep me safe and he trusts you to look after yourself, knows that you won't allow yourself to be reckless, because you're always looking after the both of us, aren't you? And if you aren't there anymore, who will take care of us, make sure we get home okay."

"Yes," Genma whispered readily, eyes never leaving Hayate's.

"He may need to protect me from the dark sides. But he protects you from the sadness. He doesn't allow you to see that he gets scared sometimes, that he loses control sometimes, because he wants you to see that he's strong enough to protect me, too. Wants you to trust him, believe in him – because he needs you to care about him."

"I know he is," Genma said calmly, tilting his head to the side to look at Kakashi. "I know you are. And I do."

"I'm glad," Kakashi whispered in return.

"Also, you don't realize that we don't fit perfectly together, not without you. We don't function properly without you. We aren't right without you, Gen," Hayate said softly, Genma's head turning back to look at Hayate again.

"You don't realize that we look at each other, because we know how we feel. We've confided in one another, over the way we feel about you," Kakashi said.

"What?" Genma said slowly, his mind spinning much too rapidly for him to grasp onto what it was finally processing.

"If you haven't figured it out yet," Hayate growled.

"You aren't allowed to hit him," Kakashi said quickly.

"Gen," Hayate started

"We love you too, not just each other. That is how it's supposed to be, we're supposed to be like this, the three of us together. And me and Hayate would never be, without you. We wouldn't have ever even tried to be with one another without you, Gen" Kakashi finished easily.

"Oh," Genma said lamely, his heart beating a mile a minute, as his brain finally caught up to what the rest of him already knew. They did fit right, they were meant to be, and he should have just told them. "I love you two, so much."

"Love you too," Hayate said, leaning forward to softly kiss Genma chastely on the lips.

"Love you Gen-Gen," Kakashi whispered, pulling his mask down quickly for the first time around the two, leaning forward and twisting Genma to press his own chaste kiss to the stunned man's lips. Before turning and pressing the same kiss to Hayate's mouth as well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Fatal **

**Rating: M**

**Warning: Slash, Language**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I simply dabble blindly, without direction or purpose.**

**A/N: Finally just a little splash of humor, after so much angst-y sadness. Thanks for the few that reviewed, I really appreciate it. Even just a little, I enjoyed it, always makes me smile. This story has taken a little different twist, and I've realized the whole story is very Genma-Centric in a way I hadn't originally planned. But, I do so adore the damned cute senbon-sucker. Anyways, hope you enjoy the new chapter and leave me a review. **

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**Chapter Four: It's Going To Be Okay, Eventually **

Genma scrambled from Kakashi's lap to sit next to Hayate. The two were instantly stunned by Kakashi's unmasked face, the aristocratic jaw, the nearly translucent pale skin, the slightly pouted mouth and lean cheeks one with a scar down it, the other flawless. Kakashi slowly pushed his hitai-ate up letting it drop to the floor behind him with a dull thud, leaving his eye uncovered. He opened his left eye slowly, blinking a few times as his vision adjusted and slowed. Genma decided instantly that the mismatched eyes only added to the ultimate beauty that Kakashi Hatake possessed.

"Uh," Kakashi said suddenly nervous, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his head slightly as the two men continued to stare at him with openly fascinated expressions.

"Wow," Hayate whispered softly.

"Well fuck me," Genma said a few moments later, causing Hayate to laugh and cough deeply against his clenched hand. Hayate turned dark eyes towards Genma, watching the older man's face light up with joy and awe, realizing that he would be okay again eventually. It would take some time, and it would be rough but eventually they'd all be just fine.

"Was that an offer?" Kakashi questioned lips quirking up into a smirk.

"Oh god, it's so much hotter actually seeing it, and not just knowing he's smirking underneath that devil mask. I set forth a new law that Kashi is from this day forward never allowed to wear that mask around when it's just us," Genma said slowly. And Hayate could do nothing but nod enthusiastically in agreement. Kakashi scowled slightly in embarrassment, turning his head away from the two.

"A law? Honestly Genma! It's not even that –"

"Don't you dare," Genma said quickly his eyes suddenly serious as Kakashi turned his head to look at the older man. "Because it is, you look fucking edible." Kakashi grumbled in annoyance at how easily Genma could read him, but didn't turn away again or continue forth with his previous statement.

"Wanna bite?" Kakashi said suddenly, lips quirking at the corners as his eyes narrowed slightly. Genma fell backwards against the floor harshly, hands rubbing over his eyes as he moaned loudly.

"Just kill me now," Genma whimpered.

"I know," Hayate agreed, squirming slightly. Kakashi tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow and Hayate hit Genma's leg harshly causing the older male to groan. "God, look Genma!" He practically squealed in childish delight, causing Genma to prop himself up quickly to look at Kakashi, before groaning and flopping back to the floor. Kakashi's face bloomed suddenly, a red flush playing across his face and Hayate could do nothing but continue to stare and drink in every emotion playing across the handsome face before him, as Genma continued to whimper and moaned pitifully on the ground.

"Are you two," Kakashi started his voice rough, shaking his head and pulling nervously at the hem of his shirt. He wasn't exactly sure what there was to be nervous about, but he hadn't shown many people his face since he was extremely young, and he'd never had the reaction he was currently getting before. Some people stared in surprise and then blushed awkwardly; others looked confused for a while before inquiring as to why he covered up his face if there wasn't anything wrong with it. But Kakashi had never deemed anyone worthy enough before to know the true reasons behind his mask. Besides the fact that he'd never left his face uncovered for this long had him itching to replace the mask, but he knew that he never would again wear the mask around them if they didn't want him to.

"Yes," Genma groaned, now squirming against the ground, hands clenching at his sides. "Oh god, yes we are." Kakashi's eyes widened, and the blush on his face darkened. He squirmed slightly himself, noticing the way Hayate was currently looking at him, as if he was trying to memorize everything about his face and expressions currently. Hayate smirked suddenly, winking at Kakashi who nearly choked on his own tongue, and coughed slightly. Sweet, innocent Hayate had just winked, and Kakashi thought his face was going to catch on fire. "Huh?" Genma sat up then, looking between the two. " 'Yate, what'd you do?"

"Me?" Hayate said, smiling innocently at Kakashi. "I haven't done a thing," Kakashi squirmed, hands twitching more, as he attempted to look anywhere but at the two men sitting before him but his traitor of a red eye wouldn't let him look anywhere else. "Yet, that is." Kakashi's entire face and upper body flushed instantly.

"You broke Kashi!" Genma exclaimed, his voice full of giddy laughter. Kakashi growled, his hand automatically lifting towards his mask without thought.

"Kashi, don't," Hayate whispered softly, suddenly sorry for turning the whole affair into a joking manner when this moment was important to Kakashi in a way they still couldn't quite understand. Genma slid forward quickly his face a reflection of soft remorse; he ran long fingers against Kakashi's face, brushing over high cheekbones, and down a strong jaw.

"You're extremely beautiful," Genma said before pressing a soft kiss against Kakashi's cheek. Hayate leaned forward, pressing against Genma's back and pressing a kiss against Kakashi's other cheek.

"Genma is right you know," Hayate said leaning back, running his own finger down the opposite side of Kakashi's face, softly tracing the scar that ran from eyebrow to the corner of his mouth. Hayate leaned forward again, pressing a chaste kiss against the corner of Kakashi's mouth before whispering softly, "You're so beautiful, Kashi."

"I'm a guy, in case you forgot. I'm not supposed to be beautiful" Kakashi scoffed, though he couldn't keep the smile from his eyes. Genma frowned before pressing a finger to Kakashi's left eyebrow, and sliding it down closing his left eye and soft kissing the scar that ran over it.

"You'll tire yourself out that way," Genma said softly in explanation.

"And give yourself a headache," Hayate supplied.

"Not to mention, I can already feel less chakra," Genma continued.

"And your eyebrows had started to furrow slightly," Hayate accused, softly pushing a finger against the middle of Kakashi's forehead.

"Okay okay," Kakashi said, raising his hands in mock defeat. "Now I feel like I have two mothers, when I didn't even have one before today. I just wanted to remember it, exactly the way it happened."

"Kashi?"

"What kid?" Kakashi asked softly, noticing the pensive look on Hayate's face and smiling as he watched Hayate's youthful face flash a deeply with annoyance.

"I'm not a kid, for one," Hayate stated in a huff. "And I was just curious, why do you wear that mask?"

"He's always worn it, ever since the academy" Genma said, leaning his head against Hayate's shoulder and watching Kakashi's face closely for any signs of discomfort. He wanted the pieces of the story he hadn't yet figured out just as badly as Hayate seemed to want the entire story, but he wouldn't make that happen at Kakashi's expense. They could always wait to hear it for another time, it wasn't overly important after all.

"Gen's right, it's hard for me to even remember back when I didn't wear it. It's changed over the years, the reasons behind continuing to wear it. Why I started, why I didn't stop, why I still do. It's not fueled by one continuous reason." Kakashi said, reaching out a hand to pull at Hayate's hair softly. Hayate smiled indulgently at Kakashi, dark eyes bright with contentment.

"You don't have to tell the story now," Genma said softly, eyes blinking slowly as Hayate's warmth lulled him into a state of half asleep relaxation. Kakashi chuckled as he noticed Genma's hooded eyes, and sleepy smile.

"Wake up Shiranui," Kakashi said poking Genma's chest roughly. "I'm telling the story now, 'Yate wants to know." Genma grumbled against Hayate's neck, placing a soft kiss there before pushing himself away from the welcoming warmth.

"I'm up. I'd like to hear also, I just didn't want to push you," Genma said, head tilting slightly.

"I know," Kakashi said softly, smiling as he rubbed at the base of his neck. "I initially decided to wear it because of my father. Because I'm nearly his replica really, even with my face covered people that shouldn't know my relations always seem to know. He was viewed as a traitor by most, someone worthless and useless for letting his mission fail. Even his teammates turned on him eventually, and I'm sure you both have heard the story a million times, it's still whispered in the shadows from time to time." Genma and Hayate both nodded slightly, small frowns adorning both of their mouths. "And so that's where it all began. I was just a child, hiding behind the mask because I didn't want to be seen in the same light as my father, back then I was following the rules so meticulously it ended up working against me. In the end it caused me to lose Obito because I wanted to just leave Rin behind, because the mission was more important than any teammate. I learned a valuable lesson that day, as well as gained an invaluable gift that has brought both pain and joy to my life." Kakashi casually rubbed at his left eye, allowing himself a moment to remember Obito, the boy who'd taught him so much in such a short time.

"Kashi," Hayate murmured, reaching for Kakashi's hand. Kakashi smiled softly, allowing Hayate to clutch onto his hand tightly.

"It doesn't hurt as much as it used to, does it," Genma whispered, it was a statement more than a question. Because Genma knew parts of Kakashi that he'd hide so long ago, away from the world that just didn't seem to understand the cautious and hurting boy he'd been back then. Nor the still fragile and scared, and sometimes dangerously dark man we was slowly becoming because of a village that had turned his precious genius and gifted eye into nothing but a weapon for their manipulation. Genma frowned softly, as he watched emotions he'd rarely ever seen pass of Kakashi's face in rapid succession.

"I remember him with a smile most days, though still with guilt and a bitter anger at my youthful foolishness. But still, in the end he got exactly what he wanted. He was an amazing young shinobi, loyal to his village, his friends and his family. After him I no longer felt hatred and betrayal for my father, but a sense of understanding. My father hadn't given up so much as just given in. The pain of friends, comrades, and his entire village turning against him had been so strong that he had been at the end of his rope so to say. It was either leave, or die. And after much reflection on the entire ordeal, I realized my father would never purposely die in battle because that could possibly ruin a mission or endanger his team, he would never defect from this village because he loved it far too much, and so he was left with but one option to stop the pain within his own heart. I no longer hold that against him," Kakashi's voice broke slightly, as tears leaked from beneath the lashes of his closed eye.

"Obito always seems to shed the tears you won't allow yourself to shed," Hayate whispered softly, tilting his head to watch as Genma's face clenched with his own pain. Hayate knew that Genma wasn't used to seeing a sad Kakashi, he was used to the joyful perverted Kakashi, or the dark dangerous Kakashi, even the falsely content Kakashi. Hayate reached for Genma's hand with his own free hand, offering comfort to the two most important people in his life as they silently dealt with their own deeply hidden demons.

"Obito always was a cry baby," Kakashi started again, after giving himself a few moments. "But, I don't mind the tears these days because I'm nothing short of grateful to him. Though I no longer needed to cover my face due to the shame and anger towards my father, I continued to wear it because it made me feel safe and secure. I'd just been made a jonin when Obito had died. And I'd bumbled my way through the entire mission, failing and failing to make the right choices. In the end though, the mission stopped mattering, how good I was stopped mattering, how strong I became stopped mattering. And so, I continued to hide behind the mask for a different reason."

"Because you were hurting," Genma said softly, his head turned away from Kakashi and Hayate.

"Yes, I was hurting. And I continued to hurt as I later lost the Fourth, and Rin." Kakashi wanted to stop, wanted to take it back so that Genma wouldn't have to deal with this sad, bitter, broken part of him. Because Hayate knowing and having to learn how deal with it was too much on its own without the addition of Genma as well. Kakashi knew that his past wasn't a pretty story, but he also knew that it would only make matters worse if he continued to hide his sadness from Genma. "So, I continued to use the mask as a barrier. It kept people away, kept them intrigued but not enough to work up the nerve to approach me. I've used the mask to cover my face because of shame, then hurt, then anger, and then just acceptance. I've come to terms with the fact that I've become the Copy-Nin, Kakashi of the Sharingan. A title I don't wear with pride, because it's just another reminder of my failures, my mistakes, and my bitter painful past. And yet, I still fight. Every day I wake up fighting, struggling, but still surviving. "

"So why don't you take it off now then?" Hayate questioned softly, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Because he's a weapon now," Genma said softly, pulling his hand from Hayate's and pushing to his feet. Kakashi and Hayate watched with cautious eyes as Genma wandered towards the window, painfully aware of the deep pain within his own chest. "Kakashi Hatake has become Konoha's greatest weapon. Without that mask he loses a piece of himself, a piece of the weapon, a piece of his slightly shattered humanity."

"Don't say that!" Hayate said harshly, eyes worried suddenly as he looked at Kakashi.

"Why not?" Kakashi said with a soft smile. "It's the truth Hayate. My humanity, my sanity, my entire being isn't entirely whole. How could it be with what I've been through, with the missions I take, with the life I lead?"

"You're a shinobi 'Yate, you should understand." Genma said, his voice soft yet firm as he looked out the window. "Kakashi isn't broken, but he is a weapon. He's a shinobi, and a damn good one. One of the best to ever come out of this village. He's not only a genius, but was a child prodigy. He had impressive skill far before he even got that eye from Obito. How could he not after all he became a chunin at the mere age of six. Six years old and already being sent out on missions, where he was forced into situations his brain shouldn't even had been thinking about. But that's what happens, that's the reality behind it all, that's the sort of life we've all chosen."

"Six?" Hayate whispered.

"You didn't know," Kakashi questioned, his eyes slightly wide.

"That would mean you where a chunin before Genma?" Hayate tried to wrap his brain around that knowledge, at the same time he was trying to figure out how he hadn't ever heard about how young Kakashi had been.

"Yes. He graduated before me, took and passed his chunin test before me, and then passed his jonin test eventually. He's always outranked me." Genma said, turning to look back at the two younger men. "He's always been stronger, but I've never not worried."

"I never knew," Hayate said softly, squeezing Kakashi's hand.

"It was long ago," Kakashi said. "It's hard to even remember the academy, or passing the tests. My childhood, was a blur of training, lessons and missions. It all just sort of fades into one big jumbled mess that I really would rather forget about."

"I still can't stop myself from feeling sorry for you, for the childhood you missed." Hayate said softly, hand still securely over Kakashi's but his eyes were once again watching Genma, who had turned back to look out the window.

"Why do you think I act so childish now?" Kakashi asked softly, bumping Hayate playfully with his shoulder. Hayate smiled, and pulled on Kakashi's arm catching him off guard and causing them to tumble to the floor in a pile of tangled limbs. Kakashi chuckled as Hayate broke off into a broken mixture of coughing and laughing. Genma glanced back over his shoulder, watching as the two younger men mock wrestled one another across the floor of his living room. Sighing to himself he ran twitching hands over his face as he turned to look out at the calm village below, he suddenly felt much older than his simple age of Twenty-Four.

He couldn't quite fathom how they could joke and laugh about such an unfairly cruel situation, but Genma also realized that his heart was prone to weakness, emotional turmoil and he'd never be as strong of a shinobi as the two younger boys were. He held onto the belief that everyone else mattered more than him, and though he could fight and he had an intelligence viewed as higher than most of his comrades, he was still soft. Soft Genma with the loving eyes, he'd hated the teasing when he'd been younger, hated how true it all was. He could pretend and act as calm and collected as he wanted, but deeply hidden beneath all those layers he feared and worried everyday of his life for his friends, his village, the most important people in his life.

Hayate coughed deeply his body shaking, as he groaned pressing a hand to his chest. Kakashi frowned down at Hayate who was currently pinned beneath him, and Genma's attention was drawn away from his musings at the window. Genma was beside them instantly, leaning over Hayate as he pressed a hand against his forehead softly.

"Well that was short lived," Hayate groaned in frustration, knowing his body was still too exhausted to be messing around with Kakashi as he had been.

"You shouldn't be out of bed," Genma said evenly. "And you really should be sleeping."

"Then take me back," Hayate whispered softly, leaning up to bite Genma's ear harshly. Genma cursed quietly arching against Kakashi who he was currently pressed up against, as Kakashi laughed deeply.

"Fuck - You two are going to be the death of me, honestly," Genma whined. But he couldn't find it in him to be all that upset about it. It had been a long day, and he was starting to feel the emotional toll that the day had taken on his own body.

"You think we can all fit in your bed, Gen-Gen?" Kakashi asked, tilting his head to catch Genma's eyes.

"Hmm," Genma's brow furrowed as he turned his head towards the hallway squinting slightly as if he was trying to see his bed through the walls. He bit his lip, before yelping slightly, as pain coursed over his lip and up his jaw.

"I meant to ask about that earlier," Hayate said, as he leaned over and pressed a cold finger against Genma's lip. Genma sighed against the coolness, leaning into the touch slightly. "It's bleeding again, you've sliced it open in a few places, bruised it up pretty bad too."

"My poor face," Genma said around Hayate's finger and a chuckle.

"Such a pretty face too," Kakashi said, getting to his feet slowly.

"I spit my senbon out after you'd collapsed, and I guess I haven't really been in a totally sane state of mind since then," Genma said softly, winking and smiling slightly in an attempt to ease away the frown that had marred Hayate's mouth.

"Oh," Hayate said. "Well –" He paused to cough, annoyance brushing across his eyes. "Let's head to bed, someone carry me," He demanded with a pout on his pretty young mouth, lifting his arms slightly. Genma got to his feet, rubbing his eyes with his hands softly. He turned to look at Kakashi slightly, who was looking right back at him openly. Hayate sat there, arms out stretched for a while, before he huffed in annoyance, "What is this? I offer myself up and neither of you wants to touch me!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes, but a smile broke across his face shattering his illusion of disinterest. He nudged Genma with his elbow softly, tilting his head in suggestion. Genma's eyes traced over Kakashi's for a moment, his hesitation due to uncertainty, before he nodded and turned to smile down at Hayate. Genma bent, sliding his arms under Hayate who quickly wrapped his own arms around Genma's neck tightly.

"Don't drop me you oaf," Hayate said softly around a deep cough, as Genma lifted him into the air.

"I don't think I should be called an oaf, Kakashi's bigger than me," Genma said reasonably.

"But he's super graceful," Hayate murmured, sleep deprivation bombarding him suddenly as he snuggled deeper into Genma's warmth.

"Oi, did you just say I'm ungraceful," Genma whined, before promptly stumbling over a misplaced shoe. He righted himself cursing under his breath, before continuing towards his bedroom, Kakashi's soft footsteps close behind him. He could feel Hayate chuckling quietly against his shoulder, "Don't even say it."

"Okay," Hayate whispered before nuzzling his face into Genma's neck. Genma sighed softly, tilting his head to lean down and kiss Hayate.

They struggled and wiggled around in the bed, before getting comfortable together. Genma laid sprawled in the middle of the bed as Kakashi curved against his side comfortable leg tossed over Genma's, and Hayate laid half curled across Genma's chest close enough to have one hand interlocked with one of Kakashi's.

"Love you," Hayate whispered softly, smiling as two 'I love yous' answered softly before he allowed his body to nod off into unconsciousness. Kakashi and Genma watched in silence as Hayate slowly fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

"Gen-Gen," Kakashi said softly, brushing his nose against the older man's cheek.

"Yeah?" Genma whispered.

"I am sorry, we both are. I know we already said it, and you know everything now. We really didn't mean for it to happen that way. It's just, it was mostly my fault, I was worried that you wouldn't want me like that and I was almost positive you wanted Hayate like that. But me and you haven't always been as close in the physical sense. And you knew so much about my past that I just, I was scared I guess. Hayate's always been so open and close to both of us because it's just in his nature to be so affectionate. I just guess I was worried that you not wanting me, would hurt Hayate because he couldn't have you either because he'd never break his promise to me, even though I wanted him to tell you alone" Kakashi whispered, his voice soft. Genma slid his arm around Kakashi, pulling him closer.

"It would have been the same," Genma said softly. "I'd never have been able to be with one, without the other. It was never one of you more than the other, it wasn't even one of you before the other. You've both always mattered to me, it was just a slow progress of emotions. You're both important, I love and care about both of you, and – " Genma trailed off softly, looking down at Kakashi intently.

"And, what?" Kakashi asked softly, looking up at Genma.

"I'm attracted to both of you," Genma finished, leaning down to capture Kakashi's mouth in a sweet kiss. Kakashi leaned back after a few moments, smiling softly up at Genma.

"Thank you," Kakashi whispered. Genma simply ran his fingers through Kakashi's silver locks, before frowned softly. "What's wrong?" Kakashi asked, noticing the change in Genma's face instantly. Genma's hand left Kakashi's hair instantly, as he reached over to the table beside his bed, shuffling through the drawer for a few moments. Kakashi frowned and started to roll over, before a cloth was softly wrapped around his head, covering his left eye.

"I didn't want you to have to struggle with it while you fall asleep, or forget and have it shock you when you wake up tomorrow," Genma said easily, at Kakashi's searching look. Kakashi relaxed into Genma's arms, sighing softly. And Genma smiled, rubbing his cheek against Kakashi's bent head.

"I'm glad you know now, but I'm not happy about how it happened," Kakashi said after a few moments of silence, his voice broken and shaking with emotion.

"Let's not worry about it anymore, okay?" Genma said softly, neither angry nor hurt anymore. He knew it was partially his own fault for not noticing the way they looked and acted towards him also. As well as not telling them the truth so long ago, when it would have saved so much hurt for all of them. It was a situation that could have been avoided, but the hearts of elite shinobi are far more fragile than they like to openly admit. Genma knew it would take him a little while to think he was completely welcome, but that was something he would deal with on his own. They'd all been hurt enough, and Genma didn't want to bring any more hurt into their relationship or friendship.

"Okay," Kakashi said softly, his voice small and Genma couldn't help but think that he sounded a bit like a small scared child that was waiting to be punished or pushed aside.

"I love you," Genma said so suddenly and fiercely that Kakashi tensed slightly as Genma tilted his head so the younger man would look at him. "I love you."

"I love you too," Kakashi said around a smile, his heart feeling light and free, more of the ice and pain chipping away. "Thank you," Kakashi whispered, his eye blinking slowly. Genma smiled, and nestled Kakashi back against his shoulder.

"Sleep now, Kashi."

"Okay," Kakashi whispered, and allowed himself to slowly fall asleep, no longer scared to close his eyes. Knowing the nightmares couldn't touch him here, not within the safe confines of Genma's arms, surrounded by the love of the two most precious people in his world.

Genma allowed himself a few moments alone with the awareness that both Hayate and Kakashi were currently wrapped within his arms, trusting, loving and needing him. He allowed those thoughts to soothe his bruised and battered heart, a few more of the old painful memories slipping away into the darkness. Genma stayed awake much longer, just basking in the warmth and trying to turn off his traitorous mind that once again seemed to want to revolt against his newly found happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Fatal **

**Rating: M**

**Warning: Language, Implications**

**Disclaimer: If you haven't gotten it yet, then I question you're intelligence – But, it should be painfully obvious I do not own Naruto in any way, shape or form. **

**A/N: Pretty sure this is going to be the end of this emotionally destructive story. I just don't have anywhere to go with it, because I accomplished what I wanted. Emotional turmoil, expression of how love can find the least likely of people, and just how strong friendship can be, in the end. Anyways, hope you enjoy it! Leave a review, and I'm always open to requests.**

**On a side note: I have already started on another story, Kakashi-Centric, back when he was younger and in ANBU. It's going to be a quite bit darker, longer, and more consuming that anything I've tried to tackle before – But, I've gotten the beginning written down, and I already adore it. It's still yet to be posted, but keep a look out for it! And if anyone's interested in being a Beta for me, shoot me a PM. **

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**Chapter Five: Always**

Genma was awoken suddenly by a familiar yet new pulsing presence within his apartment. It took him a few moments to process the cause of his numb arms and pinned down leg. He forced the panic back, and blinked eyes open slowly, taking in the blinking and slightly shocked faces of his two favorite chunin lackeys. It took him another moment to realize that they had no clue how he felt about the two younger men currently snuggled against him, and then the blush flooded across his face before he had a chance of fighting it back.

"Uh," Genma said sleepily, as he tried to wiggle out of Kakashi and Hayate clutches. "What are you doing here?"

"We, um" Izumo started, seeming to have forgotten why they were there in the first place.

"Shut up," came Kakashi's muffled yet annoyed voice from its hiding place against Genma's neck. Genma took a moment to realize that though Kakashi's face was mostly hidden, it was obvious that his mask was down. Genma growled and glared at the two chunin so suddenly they stared back with wide uncertain eyes.

"Turn around, now." Genma said harshly, his voice causing Kakashi and Hayate to come to almost full awaken awareness in an instant, the two still open mouthed chunin jumped quickly into action, turning around so suddenly that Kotetsu stumbled as Izumo stuttered a broken apology. Genma wiggled his arms free before sitting up and turning towards Kakashi who was now sleepily blinking up at him. Genma smiled softly, before reaching down and pulling Kakashi's mask up into its proper place. Genma watched as recognition washed Kakashi's face, and a dark narrowed eye turned towards the chunin. "They saw nothing, I promise."

"Better not have," Kakashi said slowly, his voice harsh.

"You can turn around now, you two troublemakers." Hayate said slowly, his voice hoarse as he coughed softly, pushing himself up into a sitting position. The three watched as Kotetsu and Izumo seemed to hesitate before turning around slowly peeking over their shoulders. "What did you need?"

"Oh right," Izumo said suddenly, his body relaxing. "We came to ge-"

"This is a pretty impressive surprise," Kotetsu said suddenly, officially cutting off Izumo. Izumo's eyes hardened as he turned to glare at Kotetsu just daring him to continue on that line of thought.

"You came to tell us a surprise?" Hayate said, his face a mask of confusion as his head tilted slightly. Kakashi continued to watch the two chunin cautiously as Genma leaned back against his head board, stretching out his legs.

"No, we came to –"

"No, I meant you three, in bed together." Kotetsu said, cutting off an irritated Izumo yet again. Izumo huffed in annoyance, but also with embarrassment at Kotetsu blunt nature. His friends were usually alright with it, but Izumo knew that Kakashi wasn't always as forgiving or open about his privacy being brought to light. And he'd noticed also the even sharper awareness that Kakashi held when Hayate or Genma were spoken about in a manner he didn't appreciate, and talking about one of them being in any bed was far beyond Kakashi's boundaries. Izumo wanted to reach over and smack a hand across Kotetsu's mouth forcefully, but he was frozen in place so suddenly by the deepening tension filling the room that he could barely even catch his breath.

"What do you mean, exactly?" Kakashi said slowly, his face tight and his body tense. Genma instantly and without thought, placed a hand on Kakashi's back rubbing slightly. Kotetsu's eyes narrowed in on the movement and smirked.

"That's what I mean," Kotetsu said, crossing his arms over his chest smugly. "I understand the possibility of Hayate and Kakashi together, as would anyone else that has eyes, you know," Genma instantly tensed, his arm dropping from Kakashi's back as he seemed to almost fold in on himself. Hayate's eyes narrowed harshly, as Kakashi looked surprised and then suddenly pissed beyond belief. Kotetsu didn't seem to notice any of that, as he continued on, waving a hand enthusiastically. "It's hard not to see that, you know. You two aren't nearly as sneaky as you believe!" He said with a wink. "They are always together, and Kakashi's always fun with Hayate around, not so scary, y'know. But Gen? I'm not sure how you even fit in there, it's like unbalanced then."

The entire room got even tenser in an instant. Genma's eyes widened and the pain from before yesterday's confession session came back with a vicious vengeance. Kakashi's entire being seemed to be cloaked with an evil intent aimed at nothing but the hopeless and emotionally stunted chunin before him. Hayate's soft eyes were filled with a kind of painful betrayal, as Izumo watched and was instantly overcome with the urge to smack Kotetsu so hard that his brain rattled. Izumo then began to notice the hurt welling up in Genma's overly expressive eyes, and his own heart clenched painfully. Everything was silent, and completely still for a few moments as if no one even dared to breathe. And then, Genma suddenly couldn't agree more with the statement, and to rectify his moment of foolishness instantly removed himself from the situation before anyone could even blink.

Genma fled the room, slamming his way into the bathroom, before securely shutting and locking the door behind him. Once hidden away, he broke down, the tears flowing instantly and the pain rushing throughout his body viciously. He tried to push the uneasiness back, tried to overcome the fact that whatever they thought didn't matter. But Kotetsu and Izumo had always mattered, and the fact that they believed him to be some unbalancing force in Hayate and Kakashi's relationship hurt more than he was willing to recognize at the current moment.

"And you know I'm not even sure how it would work. Because Gen is such a –" Kotetsu continued on before stopping suddenly, eyes blinking in confusion. "Wait. What? Where the hell did –"

Kotetsu's sentence was cut off instantly by a strong hand around his throat, as he was pushed harshly into the wall. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision before he came face to face with a side of Kakashi most didn't to survive. Kotetsu tried to piece together what he'd done, but the lack of oxygen to his brain wasn't helping at all. He noticed Hayate sitting on the bed, his face looked broken and there were tears falling from those sad eyes slowly. Kotetsu could also see Izumo standing off to the side, his eyes wide and scared, but also angry and disappointed. Kotetsu didn't see Genma, and was more than aware enough of Kakashi was currently looking at him with blazing mix matched eyes.

Kakashi could barely even breathe around the anger that was slowly overcoming him, his hand squeezing tighter and tighter around that delicate throat, wanting to see the pain, the struggle. Kakashi's control was about to snap and he wasn't even close to feeling sorry for that small fact. He wanted nothing more to absolutely destroy the worthless waste of space in his hand, the despicable being that had hurt Genma so completely that he could feel it reflected within his own heart. Hayate suddenly jumped to action, worried and scared for everyone's sake. Hayate latched onto Kakashi's arm, pulling harshly and pleading.

"Please no, Kashi stop," Hayate pulled harder.

"He hurt him," Kakashi said slowly, his gaze never wavering from the struggling chunin in his grasp. "He hurt him, 'Yate. He hurt Genma!"

"I know," Hayate whispered. "I know, but Gen needs you. I need you. We both do, please. Come on, please Kashi. Stop please!"

Kakashi seemed to find some sense of control over his arm as he slowly removed his hand from the gasping chunin's neck. Kotetsu fell to the floor, leaning against the wall and panting harshly. Kakashi was still staring at him, eyes angry and hateful.

"You ever, ever even think of hurting him again. Or saying something as stupid as that, I won't even hesitate. It'll be over before anyone can even blink. Got that?" Kakashi said slowly. Kotetsu understood enough to nod his head slowly, eyes planted on the ground evenly, forcing his body not to move at all. Kakashi suddenly vanished from sight, leaving nothing but a panting Kotetsu, a crying Hayate and a shaking Izumo within the room.

Hayate understood instantly that Kakashi wanted and needed to deal with this alone with Genma, so he fell to the floor on a broken sob. Genma was always getting hurt, even before yesterday it was always Genma taking the brunt of the pain, of the heartache. When would it stop? When would people realize how much they were hurting the usually strong and stoic shinobi, their friend that was breaking and falling apart because they all just figured he could handle whatever.

"I know you don't understand," Hayate said slowly. "But what you said, what you were saying, implying. It's so cruel Ko, so cruel even for you and your jokes. How could you?"

Kotetsu felt instantly chastised, as he looked up at Hayate just out of his reach, crying softly and staring down at his own shaking hands. Kotetsu opened his mouth, only to close it again as he looked up at Izumo who was staring back at him with sad frightened eyes. He wanted to crawl over to him, wanted to ask for his forgiveness, because he could feel the disappointment still rolling of him, and all of it was directed towards him and his big mouth.

"I'm so sorry," Kotetsu said finally.

"I'm not sure that's enough this time," Hayate whispered, his voice so soft and broken that Kotetsu wanted to apologize over and over, but he knew that it would change nothing. What he'd done, this time he'd gone too far and he knew that. He just hoped that eventually he would be able to salvage what had happened, what he'd done to his friendships with all of the people currently within the apartment.

"Genma didn't realize, how much me and Kakashi cared about him. He always puts himself out there, for all of us. Every time he's protecting us, willing us to live, making sure we survive even at the cost of his own sacrifice, his own life, his own happiness. He's been locking up how he felt; I'm not even sure how long he's been suppressing all the pain and hurt. We've just finally gotten him to realize, gotten the courage to go forward, and we've hurt him. Me and Kakashi both, we hurt him so much. And now, you've been unusually cruel Ko, you've never before said something so hurtful and vicious, especially not about Genma. He's always been there for you, he's helped you more than you could ever realize. He's never pushed you and Zu away, he's always welcomed your fascination, your affection and care for him, for me." Hayate's voice broke suddenly. "If it was jealousy, I'm sorry. If it was a joke, you should be ashamed. If it was pointless cruelty, I don't ever want to see you again. Do you understand me?"

Kotetsu not only felt chastised now, but he felt immensely terrible about himself. Hayate was right, how could he have hurt and betrayed the unwavering friendship and affection that Genma had always returned, to both him and Izumo. The countless times that Genma had been there, without having to be asked, the endless amounts of himself that Genma gave up for everyone around him.

"I never meant to, I didn't mean to hurt him. He's always so strong." Kotetsu said thoroughly ashamed of himself, ashamed of his actions, and overwhelmed by the emotions swirling almost tangibly around the room. "It might have been jealousy." Kotetsu finally acknowledged, looking up at Izumo who was looking down at him intently, with tearful eyes of reflected pain.

"He didn't mean to hurt anyone," Izumo finally said. "He never does. He cares too much for that Hayate, you know that better than most. I've noticed it, quite a while ago. Kotetsu loves Genma, in his own way. Not in the way you and Kakashi do, not in the way that I love Ko or that Ko loves me. Kotetsu has this urge to protect Genma, in the same breath as wanting to prove how strong he is to Genma. It in turn, causes Kotetsu to hurt Genma more often than he realizes. And because Genma is too affectionate, too caring he'd never tell Ko how much it really hurts him. This is partially my fault, I should have said something, long ago."

Hayate tilted his head to the side, finally finding the courage to look at Kotetsu. He saw the sadness and regret in those open yet wild eyes that were staring straight back at him. Hayate knew it would be a struggle, as everything was in life. But affection and care didn't always come easily in the life they led. And Hayate knew in that moment, he would do whatever it took to make sure that their bond, as a whole never broke in a way that had no hope of being fixed.

"It will all be okay," Hayate said slowly. And then silence enveloped the room of friends, and nothing was heard except for Hayate's continued sobbing and Kotetsu almost couldn't handle the pain it caused within his own heart.

Kakashi was still shaking so badly, standing just outside of the door to the bathroom, he needed to get himself under control. He closed his eyes, pulling down the soft cloth to cover his gifted eye once again. He could faintly hear the murmur of Hayate's voice down the hallway, catching a few words and then Izumo softly shaking voice started and Kakashi couldn't quite handle what those words implied. He knew in reality that he shouldn't have threatened Kotetsu as he had, but he also knew that if he hadn't then his own body wouldn't have come to Genma like it needed to. In a constant battle for control, Kakashi sighed and pulled his mask down before knocking softly on the bathroom door, listening as Genma sobbed for the second day in a row, all alone.

"Gen-Gen, please," Kakashi whispered. "Please just let me in." There was nothing but silence for a while, before Kakashi heard the distinct sounds of shuffling and then the click of the door unlocking. Kakashi pushed into the room, quickly shutting the door behind him and scooping Genma into his arms harshly. They stood there, just holding each other for a while, content if only for a few moments as they got lost within their own little world. Genma nuzzled into Kakashi's cheek, enjoying the soft skin against his own, as Kakashi slowly ran lean fingers through Genma's hair, slowly in an almost petting motion.

"Will it hurt forever?" Genma asked softly, his voice sounded much younger than usual, slightly broken and shaky. Kakashi closed his eyes against the pain and willed the tears away, clamping down against them yet again.

"No Gen, it won't hurt forever. Me and Hayate won't let it. We love you." Kakashi said, leaning back slightly he grabbed Genma's face within his hands carefully, forcing the older man to look up at him. "We love you. Nothing will take that away. Nothing will change that. Do you understand me?"

"I understand." Genma said, throat tight with emotion. "I love you, too."

Kakashi nodded, feeling overwhelmed. It had been such a rough week, his mission had been an assassination, then yesterday getting back only to find out Hayate was abnormally ill and this morning with the big mouthed chunin. The tears, the pain, the bitter cruelty of their life it was pulling at him, latching tightly onto things he thought long buried away. Kakashi felt himself wearing thin and he wasn't sure how much more of this he could honestly take. He leaned forward kissing Genma harshly, enjoying the warmth and life of the man before him, the soft push and pull of the mouth against him, the strong hands grabbing at his back pulling him forcefully forward, searching and seeking more. _More, more, more, _it was the only thought that kept pounding through Kakashi's head, suddenly overwhelmed and drowning within all the senses sparking to life.

Genma took control almost in an instant pushing Kakashi against the wall, as if he could somehow sense this was what Kakashi needed. Kakashi allowed the domination, allowed himself to be pushed and pulled and petted. He allowed the sweep of hot tongue to enter his mouth without resistance, allowed the pulling of his hair, the arching of his neck and back. He allowed the control to melt away, allowed the warmth to calm his racing emotions.

Genma dominated him entirely, overpowering him in a way that he'd only ever allow Genma too. He could trust no one else with this power, and they both knew that. Kakashi knew that Genma needed to feel this control, this power, this dominance. Just as Genma knew that Kakashi needed to be pushed, needed to be controlled and leashed. They allowed themselves a few more heated moments of indulgence, burying the pain and diving into the momentary escape. The stress faded away, as they continued to take and take and take from one another willingly giving up what the other needed without complaint.

Genma leaned back, dark eyes fixated on the younger man in his arms, noting the vulnerability in the one uncovered eye, the slight tremble to pouted lips. Genma leaned forward placing soft chaste kisses across Kakashi's jaw, before placing one last lingering and soothing kiss against those reddened lips.

"It's all going to be okay," Genma said softly, eyes locking yet again with Kakashi's. Genma knew that Kakashi needed him to take over, he could see the breaking signs, and Genma knew Kakashi all too well to be fooled by his air of dominance and arrogance. Kakashi was anything but secure with himself. Kakashi sighed and his body visibly sagged into Genma's arms even further, basking in the comfortable feeling of just finally being able to let go. "Everything will be okay, and we'll all be perfectly fine. Okay?"

"Of course," Kakashi answered. "You'd never let us be any other way."

Genma smiled then, a soft smile that finally reached his eyes and Kakashi felt another icicle melt away and another door open. Believing for the first time in so long that he was finally doing something right with his life, and so Kakashi smiled back.

"Don't be too mad at Ko," Genma said finally, watching Kakashi closely. Kakashi looked away, the anger coming back a little as his body tensed slightly in Genma's arm, before the older man tightened his hold. "Kashi, Kotetsu never means any harm. He just gets a little excited and ahead of his own mind sometimes."

"He loves you," Kakashi said finally, slowly tilting his head and watching the play of emotions as they flashed through Genma's eyes. Genma's mouth slowly stretched quirking up into an almost devious smirk. Kakashi watched in fascination as Genma's eyes narrowed, alight with an almost playfulness he'd yet to ever see.

"Are you being possessive?" Genma said, and chuckled when color bloomed across Kakashi's unmasked cheeks. Grumbling to himself Kakashi glared half-heartedly. "Kotetsu may love me, but he isn't and never will be in love with me Kakashi. There's a difference, you can love someone without the attachment or attraction that You, Hayate and I have for one another."

"He still loves you," Kakashi mumbled miserably, his resolve to hate Kotetsu forever fading away quickly.

"And I love him," Genma said, watching as Kakashi's eyes widened and a flash of hurt crossed his face almost too quickly for Genma to detect, before he guarded and locked it away tightly. "You keep that all locked up and this will never work out. I love Kotetsu in the same way that you loved Obito." Kakashi's hands tightened against Genma's back, as he gasped softly.

"You would dare to –"

"Yes, I would dare to. Who the hell do you think you are?" Genma said harshly. "You just expect me and Hayate to open up to you further and further, to just give and give to you? Are you just going to take then Kakashi? Take and take until there's nothing left for us? I love you Kakashi, I love you so yes I dare to bring Obito up, to compare him to Kotetsu. I dare because I know you, and I care, and I love you."

"I love you, too." Kakashi whispered softly, pressing his lips against Genma's cheek as his eyes brimmed with tears.

"I care about Kotetsu and Izumo as if they were my younger brothers, I feel the urge and need to protect them. Both of them matter to me, in a slightly different and unique way. I'd never put them before you or Hayate, but I put them before nearly everyone else in my life. Can you understand that?"

"Yes," Kakashi said softly, and for the first time he began to finally understand the true depth and power of Genma's heart. "Yes, I can understand." Kakashi lifted his eyes, meeting Genma's to show him just how much he did finally understand. Genma's face softened instantly, brushing a finger down the side of Kakashi's face slowly.

"Good, I may love them. But I am in love with you and Hayate, I hope you understand that also Kakashi. Kotetsu's fascination and adoration of me is completely harmless. He loves me in a way a younger brother would, one that truly understands the depth of such a gift. Kotetsu would never ever purposely harm me in any way, he'd rather stab himself," Genma said slowly, his voice deep with emotion and his eyes open as Kakashi continued to stare into their endless depths.

"I do. I understand, I'm in love with you both, also." Kakashi whispered his voice low and tortured. His chest burning and bursting with emotions he'd kept under complete control for far too long. And Genma realized for the first time just how young Kakashi still was, just how lost his soul was, how hurt his heart was. Genma allowed himself a moment of sadness for the man in his arms, the strong and silent man that never let Genma see all this hurt and despair.

"We should go back, make sure 'Yate's okay." Genma said softly, pulling Kakashi into his arms holding him before making a decision and lifting the younger man up into his arms. Kakashi didn't struggle or make any attempts to protest the action he merely wrapped his arms around Genma's neck and buried his face into the warm, soft skin there. As they made their way back to the bedroom, Kakashi realized that he'd finally stopped putting Hayate's health before Genma's.

"You know it feels odd to be carried by a man, smaller than myself," Kakashi teased softly, smiling to himself as he nipped at Genma's neck.

"I'm shorter, not smaller. I have quite a bit more muscle mass than you do. Your body is so slim," Genma whispered softly, pushing Kakashi up against the wall suddenly, sliding a hand down Kakashi's body from neck to knee. Kakashi squirmed between Genma and the wall, breathing harshly as he closed his eyes on a moan. Genma pressed a lingering kiss against Kakashi's pliant mouth, before hefting Kakashi back into his arms and once again making his way towards his room.

"You lousy tease," Kakashi mumbled before he bit Genma's neck harshly. Genma winced, and glared down at Kakashi who merely smiled innocently up at him, looking all too content within his arms. Genma came to a slow stop just outside his room, Kakashi looked up at him curiously.

"Pull your mask up Kashi," Genma said softly, smiling at the man in his arms. Kakashi blinked slowly, chuckling before pulling up the mask quickly, grateful that Genma was always thinking ahead, and keeping track of him. Genma shook his head with affection, before pushing his way into his own room, finding the complete silence instantly suffocating. He noticed how Kotetsu flinched away as they'd entered the room, and Hayate was at his side in an instant worry evident in his dark eyes.

"What happened to Kashi?" Hayate said softly, hand petting down Kakashi's face softly.

"He's okay," Genma said softly, leaning forward to kiss Hayate happy with the knowledge he could now do so whenever he wanted. Genma enjoyed the look of surprise that covered Hayate's face, before he coughed deeply and smiled up at Genma. Standing up on his tip toes, Hayate once more attached his mouth over Genma's. Kakashi mumbled something causing the two to pull back slightly and tilt their heads down.

"What was that?" Genma said on a laugh.

"I said that you two were suffocating me." Kakashi said slowly, mock glaring at the two.

"Poor Kashi," Hayate said slowly, brushing a fleeting kiss against mask covered lips.

"Poor Kashi indeed," Kakashi said on a laugh, tilting his head up towards Genma. "Kiss?" Genma couldn't stop the smile or the laughter that bubbled forward at Kakashi's almost young innocence, as he leaned down to give Kakashi just what he'd asked for.

Izumo had slowly made his way over to Kotetsu, who was still currently sitting against the wall. The two chunin watched in fascination, and wondered how they hadn't noticed all this time. Kotetsu felt even worse then, unable to control the whimper that escaped, and Izumo quickly turned towards his partner who was suddenly shaking with deep sobs.

"Ko?" Izumo said softly, hand lifting to pet at the slightly younger male's wild hair. Kotetsu didn't seem to hear him, just continued to sob and murmur softly. Izumo turned towards his three friends, eyes wide and fearful. Genma sighed and turned away from the two chunin, taking a few steps and laying Kakashi down on the bed softly. He smiled down, before brushing a hand through the gravity defying hair and placing a soft kiss against his cheek. He turned and grabbed Hayate who yelped slightly, placing him next to Kakashi on the bed so swiftly that Hayate had to close his eyes for a moment to stop the world from spinning. Genma then also placed a soft kiss against Hayate's cheek, pulling at the lock of hair that had fallen into dark eyes before smiling yet again. He leaned back pulling the covers up, tucking the two younger men underneath them securely. He leaned down, staring at the two confused boys currently snuggling together under the covers.

"Always you first," Genma whispered, looking at Kakashi intently. Kakashi seemed to realize what Genma was going to do, he whimpered slightly before his eyes darted to where Kotetsu and Izumo currently sat. Secure in the knowledge that neither could see him, he pulled down his mask and then looked up at Genma.

"Kiss," Kakashi said his voice deep and childish, yet loud enough to ring clearly throughout the entire room. Genma leaned down, kissing Kakashi thoroughly.

"Always," Genma said, before tilting his head to look at Hayate, allowing Kakashi to readjust his mask. Hayate smiled slowly, his eyes warm and accepting. "Always." Hayate nodded before reaching for Genma, hands snaking out from underneath the piled on blankets. Genma leaned into the warm arms, brushing his lips across Hayate's, surprised at how erotic the sickly taste of the younger male's mouth really was. Genma slide his tongue slowly across every surface of Hayate's mouth, memorizing the feel and taste of the endless cavern. Hayate whimpered softly as Genma pulled away, dazed eyes staring back at him from underneath the dark fringe of hair that had fallen into his eyes yet again. Genma gave them both a lopsided grin before extracting himself from the tangle of arms, and turning towards the two chunin, one shaking and one concerned.

Genma made his way quietly across the room, his heart hurting slightly at Kotetsu's obvious pain. Kneeling down next to Izumo, he brushed a hand over Izumo's head softly, causing the scared chunin to turn helpless eyes towards him. Genma smiled slightly, tweaking Izumo's nose affectionately before turning all of his attention towards Kotetsu.

"Ko," Genma started softly, one hand still pressed against Izumo's face to offer silent comfort. Kotetsu flinched slightly, but made no move to lift his face towards the other. "Come on KoKo, look at me." Genma whispered, using his own unique nickname for Kotetsu. A nickname no one else dared to use because it angered Genma, and annoyed Kotetsu enough to cause them more trouble than it was worth. Kotetsu was special to Genma in a way that no one else seemed to understand, except for Izumo possibly. Genma glanced at Izumo, and saw the immense hurt and worry etched across his youthful face. _Too young_, was the only thing Genma could think. They were both too young for this much pain and hurt.

"I'm sorry," Kotetsu finally said, his voice thick with tears but clear enough to understand. He sniffed softly, causing Izumo to sigh in return. Genma smiled softly, even after all these years they still had yet to get out of the habit of their nearly normal sounds. It was almost like a form of silent communication. _I'm okay, _and _I'll always be here._ Genma had yet to see anyone work together, live together, fight together, grow together quite like Kotetsu and Izumo. They'd nearly become one person, and to the world outside their closest friends they were one entity. It was always have you seen Kozu? Never Kotetsu and Izumo, just Kozu. Their names combined much like the two chunin themselves, Genma didn't ever want to see what might happen if one of them was lost and the other survived. Because honestly, he didn't believe that the one left behind would actually survive at all.

"Koko, come here," Genma said slowly, lowering himself to sit on the ground and holding his arms out towards the still softly sobbing chunin. Kotetsu peeked at Genma before scrambling into his lap and wrapping thin arms around Genma's neck tightly. Genma sighed, wrapping Kotetsu within his arms securely.

"I'm so sorry," Kotetsu whispered voice breaking and tight. "So sorry."

"It's okay, I know you are." Genma brushed fingers through Kotetsu's wild mane of hair slowly, looking at Izumo over his shoulder who was currently leaning against the wall breathing deeply and staring up at the ceiling as if it held all the answers to life. "I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and I'm okay. It's going to be okay, I promise."

Kotetsu nodded, whimpering into Genma's neck as he continued to hold on for dear life. Kotetsu's mind was a whirl of anger at himself, hysteria over Kakashi's threat, uncertainty from Hayate's earlier words, concern for Izumo, and complete shame for what he'd done to Genma, what he'd said to the first person to ever seen him as something more than just part of Kozu. Genma was the first person to really look at Kotetsu and Izumo, the first person to recognize them as something more than just what they were together. He taught Izumo how to play Shogi, and took him under his wing in all things stealth and seduction. Genma's technique in both subjects were the best and the safest of all the shinobi within their village currently. Whereas Genma had also nurtured Kotestu's more adventurous side, his need for speed, openness and care. Kotetsu acted tougher than he was, and Genma saw all of that. Saw the fierce love between the best friends, the lovers, the partners. And he did nothing but help them up time and time again, wiping away the blood, dusting off the dirt and patting them on the back with nothing but a whispered, _Well done boys._ And every time it was nothing more and nothing less than what they searched for from the older shinobi, someone they both adored and looked up to in their own ways.

"I love you KoKo," Genma whispered softly, blinking back the pain from the harsh gasp he'd barely heard coming from the direction behind him. Letting it slide for now, knowing that Kakashi wouldn't let it pain Hayate before he had a chance to explain. Genma met Izumo's eyes, and they were looking at him in relief. "And I love you too, Mo." Izumo smiled then, his soft simple smile that was full of acceptance, understanding and openness, everything that Izumo resembled. Genma couldn't help but see so much of himself in Izumo, and he believed that to be one of the reasons Kotetsu was so attached to him, in such a profound way.

"Love you too," Kotetsu murmured against his neck, and Genma could see the reply in Izumo's eyes both knowing that a response between them was not necessary.

"Now you need to watch that run away mouth of yours, don't you?" Genma said with a smile, tugging on Kotetsu's hair so he would look at him. Kotetsu smiled softly, eyes still unsure and pained. Kotetsu nodded softly, reaching a hand behind him knowing Izumo would latch onto it. Genma couldn't help but smile as Izumo's hand slide into Kotetsu's and pulled the still slightly shaken chunin into his own arms.

"Thank you Gen," Izumo said softly, holding Kotetsu in his arms like a small injured child, petting at his hair once again. "We came to get you, before this disaster. Hokage needs to see you about something by morning; he said it isn't a rush exactly. You know, in his cryptic way."

"Thank you," Genma said softly before rolling to his feet and reaching down to help Izumo up with his bundle. "You take Ko home okay? If you get any crap from Hokage, you tell the old man I said you needed it and forced you both."

"Thanks Genma, really I don't think he could handle you not forgiving him." Izumo said so quietly Genma had strained to hear him.

"Izumo, I will always be there for both of you, always. I care about you too much, so until you either attempt to kill 'Yate or Kakashi, or somehow manage to be stupid enough to get yourself killed I'll always care, I'll always be here." Genma said softly, pulling the two chunin into his arms tightly before kissing each of their foreheads and sending them on their way.

Genma continued to stand at the door, even after the two chunin had already exited his apartment. Allowing the silence to soothe his aching heart, life was just such a bother, such a struggling mess of misery and stumbling attempts at making in through. What were they all even doing? They were doing nothing, nothing at all except blindly tripping their way through this uneven unpredictable journey, hoping for another day, another night, and another happy moment. He sighed leaning his head against the door frame and wondered what the hell was going to happen next, he wasn't sure how much more his body could handle. He felt as if he'd been pulled through an endless torture session with Ibiki, hours and hours of nothing but poking, pulling, pushing, prodding. He shuddered at the mere thought, shaking his head before turning back towards the two men silently watching him from beneath blankets.

Genma was hit with how ridiculous the two feared shinobi really looked, like little kids peeking from beneath blankets, waiting for a treat or a reprimand. Genma chuckled to himself, shaking his head again and wandering towards his bed currently holding his two most important people captive beneath their endless mountains of trapping blankets.

"You're too forgiving," Kakashi said finally, masked pulled down around his neck once again.

"They matter too much," Genma said slowly as he lowered himself to sit on the edge of the bed. "They're too important, and too close. It would hurt me more to lose them, than to put up with a few harshly misplaced words."

"You've got a soft heart Gen," Hayate said smiling softly. "A soft, loving heart that only makes you all the more attractive." Genma blushed slightly at the praise, before shaking his head.

"It was mostly selfishness you know. I'm not sure where I would be without them, they saved me along the way just as much as I may have saved them. Kotetsu's laugh, Izumo's smile. It's just as much a part of me, as my own two hands are." Genma finished, smiling towards the two men that stared at him with open and loving eyes. "Thank you for understanding."

"Always," Kakashi whispered.

"Always," Hayate echoed.

And so it was in those moments, troubled and weary hearts finally found their way to a happiness that could lighten even the darkest of days. They'd found their purpose, their meaning, their Will of Fire. And so, in the morning light with love in their eyes, a slightly bruised and battered weapon, a soft hearted orally fixated man, and a fierce yet sickly shinobi embraced one another and finally felt a level of contentment that many shinobi never live quite long enough to achieve. And it was then, in those moments of softly impractical bliss that three tortured shinobi found their place among a whirl wind of death, blood, pain and loss. They'd been handed something precious, to guard, to fight for, to protect with their very lives if the occasion should ever arise.


End file.
